The Saints All Midget Backfield for 2008!

Yeah Deuce is a great guy, a Saints Legend who loves New Orleans.

And absolutely none of that will matter in the Saints' attempt to win football games.

Deuce has the knees of an 80-year-old man and while I'm all for the Saints giving him a shot at trying to play, my main concern is this: If the Saints are counting on Deuce to be a big part of the offense this year, then it means once again they'll be stuck with the 'All Midget Backfield' of Reggie Bush, Pierre Thomas, and Aaron Stecker.

How'd that go last year?

Against the Eagles with 1st and goal from the one-yard line...it went as well as a whore in church -- just horrible for everyone involved.

When the Saints have trouble picking up 3rd and 2 and have no power run game because Deuce is injured and the Saints have no alternative, I want no complaining for you people.

Got it?

Good.

This will end very badly for the Saints if they don't draft a back early this year.

Get Used to Seeing This for Another Year...

So Deuce and the Saints have struck a new deal that will (likely) be more incentive based given McAllister's second knee injury in three years. It's a win-win situation for both sides, really. If the Saints had cut Deuce or let him go off and sign with another team, some fans would've turned on Sean Payton and the management, regardless of what else they did in the off-season. See, McAllister has gotten into the rarefied Saints elite territory...he's not Archie Manning by any stretch of the imagination, but he's definitely up there with Craig "Iron Head" Heyward, Kyle Turley (before going nuts) and maybe Joe Horn.

For statistical purposes, Steve Gleason and Brian Milne have their own velvet rope section where no one else is allowed, for reasons that don't even need to be discussed.

The team did not need to have anybody questioning their logic, especially after the Joe Horn falling out. Never mind that the Saints were ultimately proven right by letting Joe roll out of town, some fans thought Joe didn't deserve that. Hey, I already voiced my opinion on that one back when I was writing for WWL-TV.

By signing Deuce to an incentive laden contract, the Saints have a better risk versus reward situation going on. If Deuce performs well, they pay him his money and can deal with him again in the off-season. If Deuce injures himself again on has a subpar year, the Saints just lose a little bit of money and it'll be easier for everyone (fans especially) for the team to cut ties. PLUS, this means the Saints don't have to use one of their first day picks on a running back. Hell, with Pierre Thomas in the fold, the Saints shouldn't have to worry about taking a running back until after the draft ends.

Signing Deuce gives the Saints a chance to focus on the bigger priorities: shoring up that God awful defense.

Here's where my head's at...

On the "Danny Pintauro in Cujo Annoyance Scale" I rate the following Old Spice commercials...(with 1 being, "Not annoying at all! what the fuck is your problem!? Annoying? Bah! I fart on your suggestion of annoyance!" and a 10 being, "Jesus tap dancing Christ, can we PLEASE shut this f**king guy up?!") You get the idea...


Annoyance Scale: 3. But only because I don't mind smelling like wild flowers AND shame...


Annoyance Scale: a solid 4.5


Annoyance Scale: a 7. Listen, Will, go make "Anchorman 2" and quit making crappy comedies. Why did you turn into Adam Sandler?! Why?!? Why?!?


Annoyance Scale: a 9.95. Would've been higher, but the Austrian judges gave it an 8.98. This fuckwad should've taken in a mouth full of dirt. Look, I realize advertising in the 21st century is all about being clever and nonsensical. Like a Mr. Plow ad. But this shit is seriously aggravating.


Annoyance Scale: -174...meaning, holy fuck Bruce Campbell knows how to bring it in a commercial hocking other peoples' wares! See, THIS is how you're supposed to market shit all clever like in the 21st century.

Dude, no Little Mac?

I check IGN.com fairly often--two or three times a week--and enjoy reading the occasional "100 Greatest Video Games of All-Time" lists. But they recently concocted a list of the greatest virtual athletes of all time. Those immediately asking, "Where's Bo Jackson?" should remember: he was a real guy. Yeah, we all speak of him as if he were legend or myth, but Bo Jackson was, in fact, a real badass flesh and blood guy. Now, Eagles QB-12? Different story...

My favorite of IGN's Hall of Fame class is Star Man from "Pro Wrestling." That guy was the shit. And his back flip double kick to the face was an awesome special move.

But I've got to ask, oh wise IGN Editors: why no Little Mac? I mean, you put Glass Joe on the f**king ballot, but no Little Mac? The guy stood about 5'8", weighed 160 pounds soaking wet, and was fighting guys like Soda Popinksi who towered over him by a full foot and outweighed him by about 100 pounds. Shit, the little bugger wasn't even a heavyweight! And there he was, mixing it up with the bigger dudes on a regular basis.

Anybody that can plow through such ridiculous stereotypical fighters like the foppish Frenchman (Glass Joe), the goose-stepping Kraut (Von Kaiser, the Japanese guy named for both a car part AND a car maker (Piston Honda), the fat Samoan (King Hippo), the angry Turk (Bald Bull), the vein Hollywood asshole (Super Macho Man) on his way to impressing Iron Mike Tyson with his "finger speed" deserves some god damn recognition!

Hold the phone...AND you guys cut out the guy from Excitebike?!? I call shenanigans! Shenanigans, I say!

Who's up for emailing the IGN folk and having them make this thing right?

Shit.

Not that the Hornets haters out there needed a REAL reason to screw CP3 out of the MVP, but Kobe and the Lakers bested the bugs 107-104 in Los Angeles Friday night. Would've been nice to watch the game on ESPN, but oh well...

Kobe Bryant nearly netted a triple-double (29 points, 10 rebounds and eight assists) while Chris Paul registered 15 points, 17 assists (17!?!), six rebounds and four steals. How the hell does a guy who's six feet tall--if that?--snag six boards in the NBA? Oh yeah, cause he's fucking Mega Man, that's why!

The season series between the two teams is tied at two apiece, but the more important problem is that the Hornets' grip atop the Western Conference has been loosened by just enough to give the Lakers and Spurs a chance to contend with only a few games to play.

It's kinda hard to come back from a 30-point deficit on the road against a quality team like the Lakers, but say this about the Hornets: they did not pack their shit in and give up mid-way through the game. Kudos to them.

Still...it's not like Stephen A. Smith or some other jabronies needed any more reason to "gift" the MVP award to Kobe.

In terms of basketball karma, I'd be willing to see CP3 lose the MVP award, provided the Hornets made it AT LEAST to the Western Conference Finals. It's what sports fans do: we try and trade something we don't already have for something better.

On the plus side, at least Chris Paul is a snapper dresser:



(Hat Tip to Hornets 24-7 on that one.)

Was CP3 Created in a Lab By Dr. Light?

Look, the comparisons between Chris Paul and Mega Man are there: both are small and agile, each wears a blue uniform, and both wield some pretty mean, badass weapons: the no look pass and arm cannon, respectively. If only CP3 could get away with using a cannon on his left arm to disintegrate defenders, though...but I digress.

I bring this up because Adrian Wojnarowski of Yahoo! Sports asked this question in his latest column: "Still, Bryant is an MVP. He’s been the best player, a three-time champion and voters must ask themselves: If I don’t vote for him this year, what will it ever take?"

He goes on to say that Bryant does not need an historical context to claim the award, but then why bother mention the fact that he's a three-time champion, Adrian? And why bother to mention that Chris Paul has never been in the playoffs? You're looking for some sort of historical context right there, buddy...!

To answers your question, "What will it ever take" for Kobe to win the MVP Award? Well, there's only one answer: when there isn't somebody else who's More Valuable than him Playing in the league. Chris Paul is more valuable to the Hornets than any other player in the league, respective to their teams.

And again, I hate beating a dead horse here, but...CP3 IS HAVING ARGUABLY THE BEST SEASON EVER FOR A POINT GUARD.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go into my think tank to figure out who to compare all the Mega Man robots to...Would Tyson Chandler qualify as Bomb Man and thus make David West the Ice Man? And I guess that makes Dr. Light out to be Coach Byron Scott then...

Oh, and will I compare Jannero Pargo to...?

And your high school sports wrap-up...Oh, wait, it's the Hornets. Shit.

So long, Hornets' home winning streak! The Utah Jazz out-uglied the Hornets, 77-66, at The Hive on Tuesday. Or did the Hornets out-ugly the Jazz? Whatever. It was a TOTAL SUCK FEST. What a low-scoring piece of dreck.

Chris Paul finished with four points and nine assists and Byron Scott blasted his team's weak performance. Paul did not exactly put any distance between he and Kobe in the MVP race.

Pitcher Bests Braves on Tuesday, Leaves to Battle Cancer on Thursday

Great story by Tim Brown of Yahoo! Sports about Diamondbacks pitcher Doug Davis. The 32-year-old Davis was diagnosed with thyroid cancer and needs to have it cut out of his throat on Thursday. The guy showed up to work, did his job and now has a six week recovery schedule ahead of him (at least). Best of luck to Mr. Davis.

Forecast: Tough week ahead for Hornets and why Byron Scott is a top notch coach

Column comes courtesy of the 'Ralpha Dog' and WWLTV.com:

On Sunday Chris Paul led the way with a triple double as the Hornets maintained their grip on the Western Conference lead.

During the Hornets resurgence Chris Paul, David West, and the rest of the players have been given almost all of the media attention.

No argument there. CP3 is a superstar right now. Not going to be, not could be - is.

But let’s not forget Byron Scott is a huge part of the Hornets’ story.

A few years ago I went to a Hornets media event and got to chat with Hornets executive and Hall of Famer Willis Reed and I asked him, “What’s the most important thing a head coach does?”

His answer was really simple yet made perfect sense.

“The coach needs to get his team play to hard every night. For ones that do, it’s worth five or six extra wins a year.”

If you don’t believe that watch the Denver Nuggets play one night. They are fighting for their playoff lives but just lost back to back games to Sacramento and Seattle.

Byron Scott has the Hornets playing hard every night.

Watching the game against Golden State Sunday there was a moment at the end of the third quarter that showed another thing that Byron Scott has that will likely mean he’ll be the coach of the Hornets a long time to come.

He and Chris Paul have trust in one another.

Paul usually sits at the beginning of the fourth quarter but wanted to keep playing.

ABC had Paul wired for sound and caught him begging Scott to let him play. Paul even told Scott he would let him know if he needed a break.

Byron Scott left him in and the Hornets won.

It shows a level of trust between a coach and his young star.

And a coach in the NBA needs to be believed in by the star on his team because if he’s not, the unemployment line will be calling his name.

Scott learned this in New Jersey when Jason Kidd pushed him out the door.

The whispers back then were Scott didn’t work hard enough and his assistant Eddie Jordan did most of the heavy lifting.

I’m not saying people were saying those things about Scott because he was black but how come when Larry Bird was coach of the Pacers and took them to the NBA Finals and he had assistant coaches Rick Carlisle and Dick Harter running his offense and defense he was hailed as an innovator but Scott hires a bright young guy to implement the Princeton offense and he’s ‘lazy’?

And for those who just think Scott was lucky in New Jersey to have Jason Kidd and now Chris Paul I ask you this: If Byron Scott had nothing to do with the Nets success how come they haven’t come close to the NBA Finals since he left?

Of course we know Byron Scott is a huge part of the Hornets success.

He has instilled the team with a defensive toughness they’ve lacked the past two years.

Scott deserves some love too.

As in ‘Coach of the Year’ type love.

Hornet’s week in review

An undefeated week highlighted by wins over the Magic and Warriors. I have to say that was so cool that the Miami Heat actually let season ticket holders play in an NBA game against the Hornets.

(You mean Chris Quinn is an actual NBA player? My bad. The Heat are embarrassing.)

Watching the Hornets basically toy with the Knicks I had to laugh as the Knicks play-by-play guys kept saying they didn’t think the Hornets were that good because the Knicks were in the game.

Guys, the Hornets only played really well for about a five-minute stretch in the fourth quarter and still scored 118 points. In fact I wonder if Byron Scott in pregame was like, “Tonight we play no defense. Consider it like a night off. We’ll just outscore them.”

The Knicks are so bad the Hornets coasted to a win by not even playing well for one of the four quarters.

The win over the Warriors was big because it likely was a stake to the heart of Golden State’s playoff chances.

Nice job by the fans booing Baron Davis every time he got the ball.

America needs to remember the Hornets have been gone two years and the fans still have issues to work out with BD.

Translation: We are bitter and no we aren’t over it yet.

Hornets this week

Tuesday: Host Utah Jazz

This game could be a possible second round playoff match-up for the Hornets.

The Jazz currently are fourth in the West. I’m not afraid of the Jazz as a playoff opponent and I think a road to the Western Conference Finals of the Nuggets and Jazz isn’t that daunting.

Wednesday: at Minnesota Timberwolves

This is a tricky spot for the Hornets. The second of back-to-back games this follows a possible hard fought game with the Jazz. And they might be looking ahead to Friday’s Laker game.

While everyone said the recent road trip was the hardest part of the Hornets’ closing schedule I thought this week was tougher. This game might tell us if I’m right.

Friday: At Los Angeles Lakers

The Lakers will need this one and Kobe might put on a show plus Los Angeles plays the Clippers on Thursday which is like an extra day off.

>Saturday: At Sacramento

The Kings are still playing hard as proven by their win at Denver last week. In the East they’d have already clinched a playoff spot. True it doesn’t say much but the Hornets won’t be able to coast.

Ralph Malbrough is a Hornets fan living in Houston. He can be reached at ralphmalbrough@hotmail.com

Why Can't It Be The Hornets' Year?

I've heard it on the radio (well, mostly ESPN Radio) and read it on the Internets (well, Bill Simmons' column, at least) that the Hornets, who deserve credit for their amazing season, will likely not make it out of the second round of the NBA Playoffs.

Simmons seems to think the Hornets are a year away and other talking heads would have us believe that playoff experience will kill them in the end.

While I'm a firm believer in playoff experience, I don't think you can dash the New Orleans Hornets aside this post-season. If the Hornets do finish with the top seed in the West, their opponents will be one of the following three teams: the Denver Nuggets, the Dallas Mavericks or the Golden State Warriors.

The Hornets just beat the Warriors at home today, 108-96, giving the Bees their 11th straight win at home. The Warriors can run and shoot all they want, but if they don't play defense, they're not going to beat the Hornets if Chris Paul gets them in a rhythm.

As for the Mavericks, here's the shit from Simmons' mouth: "They're not a great halfcourt team, they're not a great running team, they're not a great defensive team. ... And on top of that, it seems like they hate their coach." So if Billy Baroo ain't buying it, neither am I. (Excuse me while I duck a lawsuit from Bristol.)

I'm also not buying the Nuggets as a threat in the first round, either, unlike Mr. Charles Barkley. The Hornets won the season series against the Nuggets 2-1 and don't forget that Denver is TERRIBLE on the road. Repeat: TERRIBLE (the 3:20 mark).

Bringing us to Round 2 of Los Playoffs de NBA: likely opponents are Phoenix and/or San Antonio.

The Hornets do not fear the Spurs or Suns, having swept the season series against Steve Nash and Co. and tied the Spurs at two games apiece, including a 100-75 drubbing in San Antonio.

In short, I refuse the believe that the Hornets cannot AT LEAST get to the Western Conference Finals.

Hornets Must Rely on Bonsai!!

Yes, fans, with the playoffs on the way, the Hornets must take up the ancient Japanese art of tree pruning to get their minds right for long road ahead. I'm confident that taking up such a relaxing, non-violent hobby will...

Excuse me? What's that?

Oh...the Hornets need to rely on Bonzi, not Bonsai. To quote Ray Stantz, "Sorry! My fault!"

In other news, the Hornets apparently half-assed it against the Miami Heat last night, not blowing them out UNTIL the fourth quarter...

And a boy should lead them...

Why is this even an issue? Chris Paul has led the "nobody thought they were even making the playoffs" Hornets to the TOP OF THE MOST COMPETITIVE WESTERN CONFERENCE IN OVER DECADE! Didn't mean to go all Stephen A. Smith there, but my point is valid nonetheless. Whether the Hornets finish first or second in the conference is irrelevant. CP3 is the most valuable guy to his team this year.

Now I'm willing to hear arguments for Kobe Bryant, LeBron James and Kevin Garnett. It's awesome that this season has produced four legitimate MVP candidates, each with valid points to be named THE MAN for the 07-08 season. But how does Chris Paul, who, if I can remember what I've read correctly, is having the best season for a point guard ever, NOT get the award? Can somebody please explain that one to me?

I can't believe I'm about to reference this guy, but Bill Simmons once wrote in one of his trade value columns (or maybe it was a random MVP column, I don't know) that he picks guys by this important piece of criteria: who would you pick to play with in a pick-up game?

Now, if it's a two-on-two game, yeah, maybe you don't go with Chris Paul, unless you've got the long range shooting ability of Jimmy Chitwood or something. However, if I'm picking a five-on-five game, Chris Paul is my first choice. He will make EVERYONE around him better.

Would Tyson Chandler and David West be doing as well if they were partnered with Kobe Bryant? LeBron James might actually kill to have guys like Chandler and West on his team, but that's beside the point.

If CP3 doesn't win the award because the Hornets don't finish in first place in the West, I may have to give up on watching the NBA altogether, especially if he puts together THE GREATEST SEASON BY A POINT GUARD! SLOV-AH MED-VAH-DENKO!