I'm already on record with "11-5." Now's the part where I get specific on how they reach 11-5 and win the division. Reminder: I'm not doing playoff predictions. I'm only predicting that the Saints will make the postseason, like last year. What they do from there is totally lagniappe.
1. Minnesota Vikings (W 30-24) (Ed. note: That's what I said on the radio show.)
2. @San Francisco 49ers (L 23-17)
3. Atlanta Falcons (W 28-17)
4. Carolina Panthers (W 30-20)
5. @Arizona Cardinals (W 24-13)
6. @Tampa Bay Bucs (W 27-14)
7. Cleveland Browns (W 45-24)
8. Pittsburgh Steelers (W 42-9) FUCK YOU BANDWAGON STEELERS FAN!!!!
9. @Carolina Panthers (L 20-17)
10. Seattle Seahawks (W 28-14)
11. @Dallas Cowboys (L 24-20)
12. @Cincinnati Bengals (W 20-9)
13. St. Louis Rams (W 34-15)
14. @Baltimore Ravens (L 17-14)
15. @Atlanta Falcons (L 27-24)
16. Tampa Bay Bucs (W 34-10)
Showing posts with label predictions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label predictions. Show all posts
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
NFL Predictions, Division by Division (2010)
Look, I'm not vetting this stuff like I used to, game-by-game, cross-referenced with every other schedule, to ensure that I'm getting all these numbers correct. So I'm just predicting what I think the following teams' records will be at the end of the (soon-to-be two games longer, God willing) regular season. I'll throw some notes down for some teams. And no, this is NOT the power rankings. Like years past, I will NOT do that until after week 3. I hate college preseason polls.
AFC EAST
1. New England Patriots (11-5)
2. Miami Dolphins* (9-7)
3. New York Jets (8-8) Look, these guys went 9-7 last year and were LUCKY to even be in the postseason. And they DIDN'T win the division, either! I don't buy these guys as world beaters with Mark Sanchez at quarterback. Sorry.
4.Toronto Buffalo Bills (5-11)
AFC WEST
1. San Diego Chargers (10-6) No Vincent Jackson? Rookie running back? Uh, no 11+ win season.
2. Denver Broncos (8-8)
3. Kansas City (6-10)
4. Oakland Raiders (5-11) I made this prediction on The Big Lead and I'll share it with you now: If the Raiders make the postseason, I will allow somebody to nail me in the head with a cookie sheet, tape it, and put it on the internet. Yes, this would be highly embarrassing and probably eliminate me from all future presidential contention. But the Raiders aren't making the playoffs, so I've got nothing to worry about.
AFC NORTH
1. Baltimore Ravens (11-5) Come on, Joe Flacco, you uni-browed bad ass! I've got you in my fantasy league!!
2. Pittsburgh Steelers (8-8) Pittsburgh is not making the postseason. Sorry, fat asshole who jumped on the bandwagon back in the 70s.
3. Cincinnati Bengals (7-9)
4. Cleveland Browns (6-10) Jon Gruden, line one...
AFC SOUTH
1. Indianapolis Colts (12-4) It's Peyton Manning. Of COURSE he's going to win 12 again. And Jim Caldwell will undoubtedly do something utterly stupid during the regular season. Guy's got the Kathleen Blanco "what am I gonna do?" look on the sidelines AT ALL TIMES.
2. Houston Texas* (9-7) These guys are going to make us all right someday...Like the Washington Generals are BOUND to win one, right?
3. Tennessee Titans (8-8) Vincent Young regresses. Jeff Fisher stays in place.
4. Jacksonville Jaguars (5-11)
NFC EAST
1. Dallas Cowboys (10-6) They're not as great as everyone is making them out to be. And yet I've got them going to the playoffs. Go figure.
2. New York Giants* (10-6)
3. Washington Redskins (8-8)
4. Philadelphia Eagles (7-9)
NFC WEST
1. San Francisco 49ers (8-8) This is just wishful thinking. I'm so rooting for a team to finish .500 and still WIN their division. This needs to happen.
2. Seattle Seahawks (7-9)
3. St. Louis Rams (5-11) I can't believe I'm saying this, but: if Sam Bradford doesn't die behind that crappy O-Line, he'll give a lot of hope to the forty-five football fans in town.
4. Arizona Cardinals (4-12) The year after Kurt Warner leaves, the wheels officially come off.
NFC NORTH
1. Green Bay Packers (12- 4)
2. Minnesota Vikings (9-7)
3. Detroit Lions (6-10) Dude in my fantasy league paid out the ass for Jahvid Best. Like 30 bucks. Crazy. Then again, I paid $21 for Beanie Wells, so I have little room to talk.
4. Chicago Bears (5-10)
NFC SOUTH
1. New Orleans Saints (11-5)
2. Atlanta Falcons* (10-6) The Falcons will be decidedly friskier in 2010.
3. Carolina Panthers (7-9)
4. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (3-13)
AFC EAST
1. New England Patriots (11-5)
2. Miami Dolphins* (9-7)
3. New York Jets (8-8) Look, these guys went 9-7 last year and were LUCKY to even be in the postseason. And they DIDN'T win the division, either! I don't buy these guys as world beaters with Mark Sanchez at quarterback. Sorry.
4.
AFC WEST
1. San Diego Chargers (10-6) No Vincent Jackson? Rookie running back? Uh, no 11+ win season.
2. Denver Broncos (8-8)
3. Kansas City (6-10)
4. Oakland Raiders (5-11) I made this prediction on The Big Lead and I'll share it with you now: If the Raiders make the postseason, I will allow somebody to nail me in the head with a cookie sheet, tape it, and put it on the internet. Yes, this would be highly embarrassing and probably eliminate me from all future presidential contention. But the Raiders aren't making the playoffs, so I've got nothing to worry about.
AFC NORTH
1. Baltimore Ravens (11-5) Come on, Joe Flacco, you uni-browed bad ass! I've got you in my fantasy league!!
2. Pittsburgh Steelers (8-8) Pittsburgh is not making the postseason. Sorry, fat asshole who jumped on the bandwagon back in the 70s.
3. Cincinnati Bengals (7-9)
4. Cleveland Browns (6-10) Jon Gruden, line one...
AFC SOUTH
1. Indianapolis Colts (12-4) It's Peyton Manning. Of COURSE he's going to win 12 again. And Jim Caldwell will undoubtedly do something utterly stupid during the regular season. Guy's got the Kathleen Blanco "what am I gonna do?" look on the sidelines AT ALL TIMES.
2. Houston Texas* (9-7) These guys are going to make us all right someday...Like the Washington Generals are BOUND to win one, right?
3. Tennessee Titans (8-8) Vincent Young regresses. Jeff Fisher stays in place.
4. Jacksonville Jaguars (5-11)
NFC EAST
1. Dallas Cowboys (10-6) They're not as great as everyone is making them out to be. And yet I've got them going to the playoffs. Go figure.
2. New York Giants* (10-6)
3. Washington Redskins (8-8)
4. Philadelphia Eagles (7-9)
NFC WEST
1. San Francisco 49ers (8-8) This is just wishful thinking. I'm so rooting for a team to finish .500 and still WIN their division. This needs to happen.
2. Seattle Seahawks (7-9)
3. St. Louis Rams (5-11) I can't believe I'm saying this, but: if Sam Bradford doesn't die behind that crappy O-Line, he'll give a lot of hope to the forty-five football fans in town.
4. Arizona Cardinals (4-12) The year after Kurt Warner leaves, the wheels officially come off.
NFC NORTH
1. Green Bay Packers (12- 4)
2. Minnesota Vikings (9-7)
3. Detroit Lions (6-10) Dude in my fantasy league paid out the ass for Jahvid Best. Like 30 bucks. Crazy. Then again, I paid $21 for Beanie Wells, so I have little room to talk.
4. Chicago Bears (5-10)
NFC SOUTH
1. New Orleans Saints (11-5)
2. Atlanta Falcons* (10-6) The Falcons will be decidedly friskier in 2010.
3. Carolina Panthers (7-9)
4. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (3-13)
Thursday, September 10, 2009
NFL Predictions, Division by Division
Okay, so during last night's podcast, Ralph and I discussed playoff predictions. He mentioned something to the effect of taking out six teams that made it the previous year when making this year's picks. Ralph also went so far as to suggest putting a couple last place teams atop their respective divisions as well. I told Ralph I would take him up on that (or at least try to). To quote Lando Calrissian, "Here goes nothing."
(Note: I did not cross reference these record numbers.)
NFC South
1. New Orleans Saints (11-5) *
2. Atlanta Falcons (9-7)
3. Carolina Panthers (6-10)
4. Tampa Bay Bucs (4-12)
NFC North
1. Green Bay Packers (12-4) *
2. Minnesota Vikings (10-6) *
3. Chicago Bears (10-6) *
4. Detroit Lions (3-13)
NFC East
1. New York Giants (10-6) *
2. Philadelphia Eagles (9-7)
3. Dallas Cowboys (7-9)
4. Washington Redskins (5-11)
NFC West
1. Seattle Seahawks (9-7) *
2. San Francisco 49ers (8-8)
3. Arizona Cardinals (6-10)
4. St. Louis Rams (4-12)
AFC South
1. Jacksonville Jaguars (11-5) *
2. Indianapolis Colts (10-6) *
3. Houston Texans (8-8)
4. Tennessee Titans (8-8)
AFC North
1. Pittsburgh Steelers (13-3) *
2. Baltimore Ravens (10-6) *
3. Cincinnati Bengals (7-9)
4. Cleveland Browns (5-11)
AFC East
1. New England Patriots (12-4) *
2. Miami Dolphins (9-7)
3. New York Jets (7-9)
4. Buffalo Bills (5-11)
AFC West
1. San Diego Chargers (9-7) *
2. Denver Broncos (8-8)
3. Kansas City Chiefs (5-11)
4. Oakland Raiders (3-13)
NOTES:
1. The two last place teams I have making the postseason this year (and winning their respective divisions, no less) are New Orleans and Jacksonville. If not for the Rams' shitty season last year, Seattle would also be on this list.
2. Teams that did not make the playoffs LAST YEAR that I have going THIS YEAR: New Orleans, Seattle, New England, Jacksonville, Chicago and Green Bay.
3. 2008 Playoff Teams not making the trip THIS YEAR: Miami, Tennessee, Arizona, Carolina, Atlanta and Philadelphia.
4. Teams sure to get blown out in their first round match-ups: Seattle and San Diego.
5. I could feasibly see ANY of the other five AFC teams making it to the Super Bowl.
6. Teams in the NFC with the best chance to make it to the Super Bowl: Packers and Saints. Why? Seattle's obviously out; Eli Manning needs better targets; as much as I like Jay Cutler, the Bears aren't turning things around THAT fast, especially with that defense one year older; and because fuck Brett Favre, that's why.
7. I HOPE--repeat, HOPE!--the Bears wind up playing the Saints in the playoffs in New Orleans. About God damn time the Saints had home field advantage late against these asshats.
(Note: I did not cross reference these record numbers.)
NFC South
1. New Orleans Saints (11-5) *
2. Atlanta Falcons (9-7)
3. Carolina Panthers (6-10)
4. Tampa Bay Bucs (4-12)
NFC North
1. Green Bay Packers (12-4) *
2. Minnesota Vikings (10-6) *
3. Chicago Bears (10-6) *
4. Detroit Lions (3-13)
NFC East
1. New York Giants (10-6) *
2. Philadelphia Eagles (9-7)
3. Dallas Cowboys (7-9)
4. Washington Redskins (5-11)
NFC West
1. Seattle Seahawks (9-7) *
2. San Francisco 49ers (8-8)
3. Arizona Cardinals (6-10)
4. St. Louis Rams (4-12)
AFC South
1. Jacksonville Jaguars (11-5) *
2. Indianapolis Colts (10-6) *
3. Houston Texans (8-8)
4. Tennessee Titans (8-8)
AFC North
1. Pittsburgh Steelers (13-3) *
2. Baltimore Ravens (10-6) *
3. Cincinnati Bengals (7-9)
4. Cleveland Browns (5-11)
AFC East
1. New England Patriots (12-4) *
2. Miami Dolphins (9-7)
3. New York Jets (7-9)
4. Buffalo Bills (5-11)
AFC West
1. San Diego Chargers (9-7) *
2. Denver Broncos (8-8)
3. Kansas City Chiefs (5-11)
4. Oakland Raiders (3-13)
NOTES:
1. The two last place teams I have making the postseason this year (and winning their respective divisions, no less) are New Orleans and Jacksonville. If not for the Rams' shitty season last year, Seattle would also be on this list.
2. Teams that did not make the playoffs LAST YEAR that I have going THIS YEAR: New Orleans, Seattle, New England, Jacksonville, Chicago and Green Bay.
3. 2008 Playoff Teams not making the trip THIS YEAR: Miami, Tennessee, Arizona, Carolina, Atlanta and Philadelphia.
4. Teams sure to get blown out in their first round match-ups: Seattle and San Diego.
5. I could feasibly see ANY of the other five AFC teams making it to the Super Bowl.
6. Teams in the NFC with the best chance to make it to the Super Bowl: Packers and Saints. Why? Seattle's obviously out; Eli Manning needs better targets; as much as I like Jay Cutler, the Bears aren't turning things around THAT fast, especially with that defense one year older; and because fuck Brett Favre, that's why.
7. I HOPE--repeat, HOPE!--the Bears wind up playing the Saints in the playoffs in New Orleans. About God damn time the Saints had home field advantage late against these asshats.
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