Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Roundtable discussion of the Super Bowl

The main thing I thought besides, "Brees would have dropped 30 on both these teams and FUCK ALEX SMITH." was if the Patriots had Robert Meachem they would have dropped 30. Good god are those receivers incredibly shitty for New England. Wes Welker is Lance Moore and I love Lance Moore but if he's your best receiver that's bad.

Just saying if they paid Chad Oco-sucko 7 million to catch 20 passes I think they might pay Meachem 5 million to catch 50.

I absolutely hated the way Michaels and Collinsworth called everything from Bradshaw's TD on. I get it that the Giants could have run the clock and ended the game without having to give NE the ball back, and it was obvious that that's what they were planning to do if Bradshaw hadn't fallen into the end zone. And yeah, it's the Super Bowl and you've got millions of people watching who don't usually watch football so you have to explain that.

But for fuck's sake, they had just taken a 4-point lead with less than a minute remaining in the Super Bowl! And Michaels and Collinsworth were acting like they had just lost the game on some kind of colossal fuckup.

I didn't even have a dog in the hunt and it still pissed me off, they just sucked every ounce of juice out of what was pretty likely the winning score (and in fact turned out to be.) If that had been the Saints who took a 4-point lead with :57 and they'd called it as if it were the stupidest thing they possibly could have done, I'd have lost my shit. And then they harped on it pretty much until 0:00.

Sure, don't give the ball back to THE GREAT TOM BRADY if you don't have to. But it's not like the Giants have the Saints defense. Usually when you take a 4-point lead with :57 left, it's pretty likely that you've just won the game. But Collinsworth and Michaels were acting like they had just given the game away.

Just a really, really crappy way to call it. Way to piss all over THE WINNING SCORE IN THE FUCKING SUPER BOWL, assholes.

Agreed. It was the right play to let the Giants score but for fuck's sake it wasn't like he left a fucking toddler in a hot car.

I'm very pro letting a team score and then get the ball back and try to win because I fucking hate death by field goal. It's just fucking excruciating watching the clock melt and then hope for a fucking miracle of basically a missed extra point.

Still I completely agree about the announcing for the Super Bowl. It's almost like their target audience is my cousin who WAS super pumped for the Madonna half time.


1. Belichick should've told his D to let the Giants score before the 2 Minute Warning. Would've had more time and 2 timeouts for Brady to matriculate the ball down the field.

2. As much as I'd love to slay Gronkowski, I can't. If Jimmy Graham had a high ankle sprain, he'd have down roughly the same kinda shit. Maybe the Saints would've targeted him early to play up the distraction factor, but who knows?

3. Yeah, the announcing was not up to snuff overall. Collinsworth has officially been taken off my "good announcers" list. The "he makes that catch 100 out of 100 times" line fucking killed me. Give me the team of Marv Albert and Rich Gannon.

4. Saints would've hung 50 on the Pats. Not a doubt in my mind. Fuck Alex Smith. Fuck Vernon Davis. But TRIPLE FUCK Gregg Williams.

5. If you weren't moved by the Steve Gleason piece during the pregame, you have no soul. (Bonus: QUADRUPLE FUCK Ray Nagin.)

6. Madonna halftime show was so awful it was amazing. Next year: Pearl Jam or Foo Fighters or GTFO.

7. Gisele ripping the Pats WRs is PHENOMENAL. I've watched that video about 10 times already.

8. Rush Limbaugh in the Patriots box picking his nose...NO WORDS.

9. Best commercial? Clint Eastwood, followed by the Fiat ad with the hot model speaking Italian.

Screw Gronk and his ankle. I know it’s a legit injury and all, but still. Jimmy Graham would have sucked it up and put up 100+ and a couple of TDs.

The Gleason thing was awesome, but my only complaint (and it’s a minor one) is that I didn’t think they went enough into just what a cool mofo Gleason was before the diagnosis, and continues to be after. I know they showed him skydiving recently, and maybe that’s all the time they had to make the point. I mean, hell, I’d watch an hour-long special on 37. But I realize that most people don’t care that much, and it’s the Super Bowl, time = lots and lots of $$$. So I get why they couldn’t get more in-depth with it. I guess I just really want people to get what a special dude Gleason is, and continues to be despite the ALS. Then again, I’m sure most people wouldn’t really give a fuck anyway. I know I roll my eyes and flip the channel just about any time ESPN comes with one of their tear-jerking human interest stories on Sportscenter or whatever. So yeah, I’m definitely being Irrational Saints Fan here I guess. I’m glad they took the time out to do it, and for what it was, they did a good job with it. All the ladies at our SB party were in tears. Oh, and yeah, quadruple fuck Ray Nagin indeed.

Didn’t see Madonna. Went outside and smoked a J instead. High five!

My boy’s wife was totally stoked about Madonna, and I had her going for about 3 hours... “Did you happen to see the news that leaked this morning on the internet? There’s gonna be a surprise cameo by Duran Duran. Yep, Madonna totally set the whole thing up and they’re gonna come out and do a Duran Duran medley with Madonna handling some of the vocals, then Duran Duran is gonna be her band when they do her songs.” I think her and a couple of her friends’ heads exploded. The whole first half they’re all “HOLY SHIT!!!” Told ‘em right before halftime that I made the whole thing up. Owned. Good thing they’re used to me & my boy fucking with them just for sport. And yet, they bought it hook line and sinker.

I’m glad the Giants won, I think. If for no other reason than I’m pretty sure Drew is gonna win at least one more Super Bowl. So I’d rather Eli have 2 than Brady have 4. Drew will equal the 2, and with some luck maybe even get 3. Don’t see him getting 4 though. So I’d rather Brady stay at 3 and Eli get a second, rather than Brady get a 4th. And now, I’m pretty sure Brady’s never gonna get the 4th. I think that was it. Also I have to admit that I find the whole “Eli has 2 and Peyton only has 1” thing pretty amusing. Imagine the Manning Face!!!

I just watched the Gleason piece on the Chronic. It was really well done and Wang I think a local NOLA station should do a an hour special on him. I did think of an idea the Saints/NFL could to raise money for him and ALS. Make Gleason jerseys and all proceeds go to Team Gleason/ALS. Obviously nationally no one is buying a 37 Gleason jersey/imitation jersey but I bet Saints fans would especially if they promoted the hell out of it.

As for the halftime show I'm in agreement with Cowherd, who said they should just get rid of it, because the NFL is so big now they don't need it to guarantee ratings or to keep people bailing at halftime.

The NFL would never do it because they love the spectacle of it.

Still, to me no act will satisfy anyone really with a 12 minute show. Madonna I thought compared to the fucking corpse of the Who was ok.

/likes Madonna what can I say

Okay, when I post this chain on Hakim later, I'm absolutely bolding the "likes Madonna" part. :)

Yeah, you're right now act will satisfy everyone, but there are some acts where people might be like, "well, I don't like them, but okay, whatever." I felt that way about Prince. I'm not necessarily a fan, but the dude was good.

But if the NFL insists on digging up old acts, then I'd like to suggest CCR or MC5. Fuck, gimme Duran Duran or one of those 80s groups. I'd even settle for a horrible mish-mash of Annie Lennox, The Cult and Jesus Jones.

And the fact that WWL-TV hasn't done an hour long special on Gleason is utterly retarded. That's a fucking ratings layup locally.

Heh. See, I thought The Who kicked ass. But that’s just me. And I admit that I’m biased. Back in the late 80s/early 90s when I went through the requisite “adolescent male classic rock phase” I really committed to it. Still listen to them every now and then, and I respect the hell out of dudes who can strut onto a stage at 80 years old and crank the amps up to 11 and rock that shit old school like it’s still 1968. Oh and there’s also the little matter of “...somewhere between Pinball Wizard and ‘Teenage Wasteland’ we decided we were going Ambush.” Yeah, little biased on those grounds as well. Think they’d have decided to go Ambush somewhere between Borderline and Vogue? Anyway, Roger Daltrey is still a total badass.

A thought just occurred to me: What if Hendrix were still around? Can you even imagine??? HO... LEE... SHIT. There wouldn’t even BE a second half.

But yeah, I guess I kinda agree with Cowherd on principle with the “just get rid of it” thing. But the league definitely loves the spectacle and all that. It’s a total “We’re the shit!” thing, and they’re right. It’s also about reeling in the ladies and making sure there’s a reason for them to be into it too. Which is why lately you usually get Madonna and Janet Jackson and Black Eyed Peas and Prince and all that. I’m not sure they’ll ever go with some act like The Who ever again, if for no other reason than it’s “too male.”

Personally, I think The Cult would be fucking fantastic. But I’m a dude. “Too male.” And even at their peak, not nearly popular/mainstream enough. Next year it’ll probably be fuckin’ Lady Gaga or some shit. Or somebody who blew up on YouTube or something. Or Cher.

Oh dear Christ, Cher. I'd off myself. I pick Tenacious D. Seriously though it should be all nola bands next year. Saints in 2012 = first home game in SB history

I'll add Billy Joel and Neil Diamond to the list of "old artists I'd be okay with at halftime."

Oh, and to get this partly back to football:

Does this loss "hurt" Tom Brady's legacy? I know (some) people are dogging the guy, but I don't think this hurts his legacy in so far as HOF or even legendary status. I mean, nobody was retarded enough to really compare to Joe Montana BEFORE last night's game, right?

Here's a question: If Eli Manning retired TOMORROW, would he be a HOFer? 2 SB wins (and game MVPs). He's got the postseason part of the resume covered and then some. He played pretty damn well this season. But are his regular season stats enough to go along with the rest of his resume?

If Brees retired TOMORROW, I would say yes. With Eli...I'm not so sure. And it's not like Eli has to do THAT much, either. I think if he just plays even 2 more years and puts up decent numbers, I'd say he belongs.

And anybody that wants to say "ELIte >>>>> Peyton and Brees" should be forced to watch the NFL Honors broadcast on 24-hour loop.

next up for the NFL and their halftime super bowl show will be...ELTON JOHN

If that means I dont have to ever suffer through Jeff Duncan's attempts at humor tweeting, so be it. His "like a prayer" jokes during Madonna were about as entertaining as Kardashian television.

And in his column today, Duncan apologized for a "madonna pun" after writing "like a surgeon" but he forgot that it should have been a "Weird Al Yankovic" pun, as it was Al who spoofed "Like A Virgin" with "Like A Surgeon"

Weird Al Yankovic. Book him for the halftime show.


(Photo by Jamie Squire of Getty Images)

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