Friday, January 23, 2009

Ralph depresses the shit out of Saints fans.

Ralph Malbrough at says the Saints are done spending any more money this off-season after signing new DC Gregg Williams. So don't expect any bad ass free agents to come to the Big Easy. Thanks, Ralph; I think I'll punch my own cock while I'm at it...

Sunday, January 18, 2009

NFC/AFC Championship Predictions

Sorry for the lack of posts (this is what happens when your girlfriend moves in with you) but I wanted to get my AFC and NFC Championship picks on record. I'm currently 0-8 in the playoffs, but you don't hear me really bitching about it, like SOME people (I'm looking at you, Billy Ba-roo!).

Here are the picks:

Cardinals 24, Eagles 17
Ravens 13, Steelers 10

Friday, January 16, 2009

Saints hire seemingly competent defensive coordinator...

...AND the Rams have told Jim Haslett "Thanks, but not thanks?"

Damn, this is turning out to be a great day!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Brees having a baby?

Drew Brees went on "The Dan Patrick Show" Wednesday to talk about the recent season (clinching fist, punching brick wall). And he's expecting a child: a boy.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Fuck perfection, I'm doing it the other way!

Well, with the Steelers beating the Chargers, I'm officially 0-8 in my playoff picks. I've backed the wrong horse in the playoffs eight times. I didn't even think that was possible. Part of me is pissed that I got so many wrong, but really I'm kinda wearing this thing like a badge of honor. I wonder if I can take it to 0-11? But that means I'd have to "try" and pick the team who was going to lose. I'd rather not do that, especially come Super Bowl Sunday.

My former boss who's a Steeler fan for know real reason can still go fuck himself, the fat bastard.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Some stuff happened...

--Drew Brees named Offensive Player of the Year. No one notices. It's like winning one of those "technical" Academy Awards, the ones that aren't even telecasted in real time, they just recorded some hot actress handing you a statue. I'm still pissed Brees didn't receive ONE FUCKING VOTE.

--I opined that Gary Gibbs SHOULD be fired, but that he likely WOULD NOT be fired. I wrote all this in a column published on Canal Street Chronicles. Of course, the dude got shit-canned the day after it went up. Oh well.

--With Gibbs gone, my "Guy Who Knows A Guy" has told me about two of the following people's names being batted around the Saints HQ on Airline Drive:

Miami Dolphins Asst. head coach Todd Bowles
former Lions head coach Rod Marinelli
Patriots def. consultant Dom capers
Panthers DB coach Tim Lewis
Bengals DC Mike Zimmer
Eagles DB coach Sean McDermott
Titans LBs coach Dave McGinnis

So help me Christ, if Sean Payton is even CONSIDERING bringing Rod "Epic Fail" Marinelli to this franchise, they can both expect to get the Rob Parker treatment from here on out. (Note: Yes, I thought Parker's "Do you wish your daughter had married a better defensive coordinator?" question was fucking hilarious. Get over it.)

On this list though, I guess I like Todd Bowles and Dave McGinnis; that's just me making guesses.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Playoff picks! And random predictions.

(Note: Home team in bold. And I'm picking straight up winners, none of this point spread crap. That's for douchebags not named "Ralph.")

Indianapolis Colts 31, San Diego Chargers17
1. LT spends the end of the game sulking on the sidelines with his helmet on.
2. Philip Rivers throws two interceptions.
3. Joseph Addai goes for more than 140 total yards.

Minnesota Vikings 21, Philadelphia Eagles 13
1. Brad Childress demonstrates poor clock management in the first half; Andy Reid counters with poor clock management in the second half.
2. The Eagles fail to convert once crossing into the red zone.
3. Donovan McNabb throws a backbracking interception in the fourth quarter.

Miami Dolphins 13, Baltimore Ravens 9
1. Joe Flacco craps the bed in his first playoff game, throwing for under 150 yards and two picks.
2. Miami wins the game on the ground.
3. Joey Porter STILL feels disrespected.

Atlanta Falcons 24, Arizona Cardinals 20
1. Entering the playoffs on a roll? Good. Backing into the playoffs? Bad. Cards make it look close at the end with a garbage time touchdown.
2. Michael Turner rushes for three touchdowns.
3. Kurt Warner commits two turnovers.

Friday, January 2, 2009

One more time...

That's why you THROW THE GODDAMN BALL AGAINST THE LIONS AT THE END OF THE GAME!!! ARGH!!! Oh yeah, this happened. And let me just say a pox on all the houses of the MVP voters who did not even recognize Drew Brees at all. That'd be all of you fuckers. Die in a fire, Peter King!!!