Thursday, September 5, 2013

Prediction: Saints finish 10-6, make playoffs...BUT HOW DO THEY GET THERE?!?

Damn, I haven't posted here in nearly a year?  I'm surprised the website's still active.  But hey, never turn away good news, or whatever the expression is.

So on Twitter I predicted the Saints would go 10-6 and make the playoffs.  That has me wondering: what did I predict last year for the Saints?

10-6; make the playoffs.

God, I'm such a gutless turd sometimes.'s my game-by-game prediction for the Saints' 2013 season.  I'm sure NOTHING will be wrong this time out.

Week 1: Atlanta Falcons - W
Week 2: @Tampa Bay Buccaneers - W
Week 3: Arizona Cardinals - W
Week 4: Miami Dolphins - W (Party in the MIA?  Party in the MIA.)
Week 5: @Chicago Bears - L (Saints STILL haven't figured out Chicago on the road)
Week 6: @New England Patriots - L (I'll smash my balls in a cabinet drawer after watching ESPN fawn over Tom Brady after he breaks The Brees Streak.)
Week 7: BYE WEEK!

Week 8: Buffalo Bills - W
Week 9: @New York Jets - W (Rex Ryan will probably be fired before this game.  I could TOTALLY see him trolling NY fans and the media by appearing on the opposite sidelines with his brother or some shit.  I would write a scenario JUST LIKE THIS, but Kissing Suzy Kolber would have my ass.)
Week 10: Dallas Cowboys - W
Week 11: San Francisco 49ers - L (The less I say about the better.)
Week 12: @Atlanta Falcons - L (ALL of the middle fingers.)
Week 13: @Seattle Seahawks - L (Can't wait to watch ESPN fawn over "great despite being small" Russell Wilson's performance.)
Week 14: Carolina Panthers - W
Week 15: @St. Louis Rams - W (F*ck the mustache.)
Week 16: @Carolina Panthers - L
Week 17: Tampa Bay Buccaneers - W (Saints clinch playoff spot with the win here at home.)


1. Drew Brees throws for over 4,500 yards and 30 TDs.
2. Drew Brees doesn't even place in the MVP voting at season's end.
3. I go nuclear over the entire MVP voting process.
4. Jimmy Graham catches 80+ passes and has fewer than 9 drops.
5. Meachem has 3 good games all season, infuriating an entire nation of fantasy football players.
6. Kenny Stills finds a matching purse and pumps.