Monday, December 31, 2007

Billick fired -- Losing that game to the Dolphins will often do that to you...

I TRULY believe that if the Ravens would've beaten the Dolphins, Billick might still have a job. I mean, the organization signed him to an extension through 2010, so they had to have SOME faith in the guy, right? Read more.

According to, Billick leaves Baltimore with a 79-64 record over nine years, including division championships, a conference championship and a Super Bowl title. The Ravens are 59-52 since the Super Bowl season.

I stand by my Dolphins connection.

Don't fret, Mr. Billick, Bill Parcells might call you. I said "might."

1st ever worst Saints Draft picks Induction Ceremony

Russel Erxleben steps to the the auditorium podium

"Thanks for coming everyone. I'm sorry some of you have to stand. We tried to get a bigger ball room but no one but De La Salle High School would take my checks. Bastards."

"I'd like to thank Alex Molden for coming and I hear because of Jason David no one spit on him or punched him in his balls and yelled EDDIE FUCKING GEORGE YOU FUCKING DOUCHE."

"I'd also like to thank Vaughn Dunbar for his fantastic 3 hour seminar ,"Run to the darkness" a fascinating three hour lecture on how to fall down, not read blocks and look like an all around retard when running off tackle. Reggie Bush was taking very good notes."

Before we induct our newest member we have some quick orders of business to attend to.

"We will not be having the complimentary buffet that was promised in everyone's invitations. Johnathan Sullivan snuck into the Cafeteria last night and ate everything including the three teenage boys we hired to serve the food.

Johnathan is currently getting an IV of Crisco and nacho cheese so don't bother trying to find that worthless fat fuck and yelling at him. Only kidding Suli, we love you. We're all fuck ups here."

Sean Knight giggles in front row

Ok, everyone I'd like to introduce someone to our prestigious society. This young man managed to do something that no Saints Draft failure has ever done before. He not only showed up to the team fat, lazy, and dumb. He not only didn't play the whole year but wasn't even active for a single game yet wasn't placed on injured reserve. Why it's such a spectacularly glorious failure I'm jealous."

This failure of a draft choice has made Lonzell Hill, Brett Perriman and Wesley Carroll look like actual NFL receivers. It's almost unbelievable but true!."

Gentleman I give you our Newest Member: Robert Meachem

Meachem walks to podium and Erxleben helps him put on 1970's leisure suit jacket.

Meachem: I'd like to thank Taco Bell and Hooters for making it so easy to gain 20 pounds, I'd like to thank the Saints medical staff for missing my fucked up knee in my pre draft physical but most of all I'd like to thank you guys.

"The support you guys gave me throughout the year when I thought about actually practicing hard and getting on the field was fantastic.

"Dave Wilson called me in October and said Robert you can make history. The Saints have dozens of shitty #1 picks but they all actually played as a rookie. You have complete ineptitude in your grasp. Keep being a lazy fuck.

And I did. Thanks everybody. I've never been happier. Let's all get shit faced and go to Visions and see boobs and get lap dances"

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Don't kick to him! Don't kick to him!! Ah, F*CK, they kicked to him!!!

Sean Payton said the Saints did not want to put the ball in Devin Hester's hands. How's that plan working out so far, coach? Oh yeah...IT FUCKING DIDN'T HAPPEN!! See the game recap on AOL Sports.

The injuries continued to pile up for the Black and Gold Boys on Sunday in the Windy City, as Marques Colston, Terrance Copper and Jason Craft found their way to the sidelines before things ended. They join Reggie Bush, Deuce McAllister, Mike McKenzie, Jammal Branch and Aaron Stecker on the back of the plane home as guys who need to stretch out over two seats with the ice packs.

But on the plus side, at least we know who's kicking for us next year, right? Right?

What position do the Saints target in the draft first? Linebacker or cornerback? OR does that depend on who the Saints can sign in the off-season?

Speaking of the off-season...who gets their moving papers? Devery? Eric Johnson? Jason David? Olindo?

Why am I having flashbacks to the Jim Haslett era?!? FUCK!!!

Friday, December 28, 2007

What Eli can do to gear up for the Pats

Eli, call your older brother, Peyton. Fly him, your dad (Archie) and other brother (Cooper) up to the house for a sleep over. But it's not really a sleep over. Peyton's bringing as much video as he can on the Patriots to go with whatever film you got on them, too. You, Peyton and your pops are gonna sit in the 'TV Room' -- or whatever you call it -- going over game film of the Patriots' defense. You need as much help as you can get.

What's Cooper doing there? He's there to answer the phones and pretend he's your foreign butler who can't speak a lick of can't afford to be distracted at a time like this. ("Eh...Hell-Oh? Ah...dis is Mistah Mannen's hoose... Ah, he's no home roit new...") Ah, Cooper Manning, you and your clever accents. I hear he's the impressionist of the Manning family -- not a painter, but a guy who's really good at doing voices. Glad I cleared that up.

Monday, December 24, 2007

The Saints get flagpoled

Ah...fuck. That's about all that can really be said about Sunday's game, right? I should have known that things were not going to go our way from the get go. The signs were all around me; I just chose to ignore them:

1. Walking into the Superdome, I bumped into co-workers. Nothing against my co-workers (in this particular case), they're very cool people. But going back at least four years, everytime I've bumped into people from work or school at a Saints game...the end result is not pleasant.

2. I saw this guy I used to go to grade school and high school with. Total asshole back then; likely still is. He didn't notice me, though, but I sure noticed his Skeletor face. This douchebag is about two or three inches taller than me, but probably weighs AT LEAST 10 or 15 pounds less. Conclusion: He's a fuckin' beanpole and I should whopped his skinny ass outside the Dome. But no, I'm not bitter about my childhood...I digress...

3. Our section's unofficial "mascot" (a.k.a. The Psycho Who Screams the Loudest) didn't arrive in his seat next to my compadres until about mid-way through the first quarter. It just doesn't feel the same when he's not there at kickoff, screaming so loud his face turns red and veins pop out of his neck and forehead.

And 4. The fact that the Saints can surrender a massive, would-be touchdown run, only to force a fumble...but blow the chance to fall on it and allow the Eagles to recover the fumble IN THE ENDZONE...That was the big sign that things were not going to end well. Saints Notes: Brees breaks Archie's record; injuries pile up


And here's Ralph's column about the loss, too...

Forecast: Saints consistently mediocre
By Ralph Malbrough

Say this for Sean Payton: Since the Saints 0-4 start he’s had his team playing consistently almost every week.

Drew Brees usually plays very well in spite of crucial drops by receivers, the defense doesn’t stop the pass or create decent pressure on the opposing quarterback and Payton makes a poor challenge of an officials call.

Lather, wash, rinse, and repeat.

Usually they’ve won but whenever they played a team with a decent quarterback they’ve lost (Marc Bulgar, Matt Schaub, and Donovan McNabb) Do you see the trend?

It’s been said many times, many ways…Merry…. wait I’m confused… I lost my train of thought or maybe I’ve run out of ways to describe the Saints shortcomings?

Yeah, that’s it.

The Saints probably weren’t winning yesterday with Mike McKenzie, Marcus Colston, and four quarters from Aaron Stecker but they definitely didn’t win without them.
The Saints defense couldn’t stop the Eagles on third down (8 of 13), or keep Donovan McNabb in the pocket.

They gave up five plays of 20 or more yards in the first half and if not for a McNabb fumble looked completely helpless.

It appears to be a lack of players more than a coaching issue and besides I’ve seen horrendous defensive coaching by the Saints. See Venturi, Rick. So I’m not prepared to throw Gary Gibbs under the bus.

On offense, Drew Brees was literally the last man standing. If I told you in August the Saints would need Brees to lead a second half comeback against Philadelphia to keep their playoffs alive without Deuce, Reggie Bush, Marcus Colston, and 1st Round pick Robert Meachem I suspect the reaction would have been, “Playoffs? Are you kidding?”

Again ‘Doctor Drop’ Devery Henderson did what he did most consistently this year and David Patten even followed suit by dropping a huge 4th quarter throw.

The Saints lead the league in drops and even though he had a very good year Patten has had more than his share.

The Saints lost any chance they had when Aaron Stecker was stopped on fourth down from the Eagles two yard line.

Payton’s call was the right one because field goals weren’t winning yesterday and even though the play call was a bit puzzling from the usually hyper-aggressive Payton the bottom line is the Saints needed to get in the end zone. They didn’t. Game over, playoffs chances stuffed as bad as Aaron Stecker.

So with one week to go in the Saints 2007 season we’ve clearly learned two things.

First, when coming off an appearance in the NFC Championship game don’t have an off-season so bad fans say things like, “They would have been better not doing anything.” Or “Who was their first round pick? Is he even on the team? Did they even draft players this year?”

And of course don’t start the season 0-4 and then give away wins like really nice Christmas gifts.

When the story of 2007 season is written it will say, “The Saints F- off-season and generous gift giving to Tampa and Carolina ruined a season filled with more promise than any other in Saints history.”

So join me in singing a refrain that is as familiar to Saints fans as any Christmas carol, "Just wait till next year."

Ralph Malbrough is a Saints fan living in Houston. He can be reached at

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Sunday Pre Game to do list

Ok kids, here are some things to Look for/Do during the Saints-Eagles game if you are watching on the TV and not at the game

Kill an Angel every time the announcers mention both of Andy Reid's sons are in rehab/been arrested/ are passed out on Bourbon Street

Do a shot of Jack Daniels every 5 times Sam Rosen or Tim Ryan mention how Brian Westbrook's unselfish act last week cured breast cancer and uplifted humanity in General.

Smoke crack every 7th time Reggie Bush is shown on the sidelines.

Feed a homeless guy everytime Kevin Kolb is shown on the Eagles sideline

++Note in case of Saints blowout make sure to have plenty of non perishable food items on hand

All right kids, be safe out there and remember to root against Eli today...

Thursday, December 20, 2007

ESPN's Chris Mortensen reports...that Mort was wrong

Fcuk the 'Mort Report.' I'd rather listen to the 'Sport Report' on the "Colbert Report."

Hey, Mort! Eli Manning called to let you know HE'S STILL PLAYING, DICKWEED!

Of course, Kissing Suzy Kolber gives it to him good. Sometimes, you gotta just sit back and let the pros handle things.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Jeff Faine got "JACKED UP!!!!" by third string tight end? On his own team?!

Yep, it's true. And Tom Mantzouranis of AOL Sports has the video evidence.

West Virginia may have found their huckleberry, er....head football coach

According to my "Guy Who Knows a Guy," the search for WVU's next head coach is down to two guys: Clemson head coach Terry Bowden and Florida Asst. Coach John "Doc" Holliday. However, he seems to be favoring Wyatt Earp's good buddy over the young Bowden.

Holliday grew up in West Virginia and graduated from WVU as well...(wait for it)...after playing three years at linebacker. Here's an official media report on the Holliday thing from a non-ESPN source.

And just because I absolutely loved Tombstone:

Improving MLS broadcasts on ESPN

Holy shit. TWO soccer-related posts in a row? Damn right. The WVHooligan posted his Ways to improve MLS on ESPN column a couple days ago but I noticed it on AOL Sports, so a hat tip for them.

I've long been fascinated with the marketing/packaging of the game on this side of the ocean and often thought about ways to improve the game. It's a pretty good list WVHooligan put together, although I'd add puting mics along the field so the home audience can hear the ball being kicked with some authority.

As for the "two man booth" idea...put me down for a Hell-To-The-Yes vote. I suggest taking Allen Hopkins off the sideline and putting him in the booth with Julie Foudy. As for the MLS highlights show, I nominate Rob Stone to host, joined by Eric Wynalda. Like 'em or not, those two seem to have a good chemistry and could be counted on for a half hour show. Plus, it's good news for the haters out there since they'd only be in your lives for 30 minutes each week.

Needs to be said: F*ck Manchester United.

Not that any of us Man U haters out there needed another reason to dislike the franchise, but one of their younger players was arrested on rape charges at THE TEAM'S CHRISTMAS PARTY. Read more. Hat tip to AOL Sports)

Here's the sad thing: it's not the first time rape allegations have been lobbed at a soccer player.

I honestly hope this is a case of a deranged woman making up a story, but if it isn't, then this 19-year-old douchebag should be tapped to a chair in the middle of a pro-Chelsea tavern wearing his Man U kit. Those hooligans would make that scene in Reservoir Dogs look like a non-card offense.

Parcells to join Atlanta...(he checked "maybe" on Arthur Blank's note)

Yeah, cause what better way to provide stability to a beleaguered franchise than bringing in a 66-year-old former head coach who's appeared to struggle managing the game in his last couple years. Read more.

Then again, it's Bill fuckin' Parcells, people. So what if he hasn't won a playoff game since 1998? He's AT LEAST gotten teams to the playoffs, right? And after the season the Falcons have had to endure, those schmucks oughta be THRILLED to be playing for something this late in the season (see: Washington, Minnesota and New Orleans).

Assuming Parcells takes over football operations for the Falcons, it immediately makes them a buzzworthy force to be reckoned with -- provided he doesn't name himself head coach. What Parcells needs is a guy who'll answer to him and do things the way he likes, when he wants them done.

So what if it's a puppet regime? Any troublemaking Falcon players would know that Parcells, a guy who's wallet likely says "Bad Motherfucker" on it, wouldn't accept any screwing around -- whether he's head coach or not.

Another thing to consider: with the Falcons finishing the season in the toilet, fate would seem to favor them for next year. Remember: the team that's finished in last place in the NFC South has gone on to win the division the following year. Getting Parcells on board to hire the next coach and help mold the coach, players and franchise into a competitor is a step in the right direction.

For Arthur Blank's sake, I just hope Bill Parcells stays away from all the fried chicken and fries and doesn't balloon any more.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Kyle Orton--destroyer of dreams

As the rest of you I was forced to watch Lovie Smith play the first retard at QB in an NFL game.

(Nothing against tards...I love those helmet wearing, juice drinking, 45 IQ having kids...I just go fucking nuts when one is playing QB for a team I need to win)

Granted Orton looks like a lumberjack but his beard didn't help him say..complete a pass.

Nice 4th and one throw Kyle....the guy holding the 1st down marker was wide bad.

While Tarvaris Jackson was crapping the bed, and looking like the bastard son of Aaron blew it.

I survived Katrina but I nearly decided to drink Draino out of a Martini glass last night so I wouldn't have to suffer anymore of that Dung Pile ESPN said was a Monday Night Football game.

I never thought watching a Bears game I'd long for the Sex Cannon or Brian Greise but you managed to do it....fuck you Kyle Orton.

Well, Saints fans it's time to root for 'Mixed Drink' Todd Collins of the Skins and Trent Edwards of Buffalo....

Good God counting on crappy QB's to fulfill our playoff dreams is like waiting for Britney Spears to learn to fucking read.

All these Shitty QB's are testing my will to live.

Monday, December 17, 2007

He did WHAT on the 1-yard line?!

As a fantasy football owner...this flat out infuriates me. Almost as much as the Dolphins finally winning a game over the hapless Ravens. And yes, they're f**king hapless. Brian Westbrook had a chance to score but didn't on Sunday against the Cowboys. Read one person's thoughts on how much of a financial impact such an act of "compassion" might have had on the world. (Hat tip to Deadspin).

Sports Nuggets: Guys in line for the West Virginia football gig

The following entry is from a new contribtor, Mr. Sports Nuggets, a.k.a. "A Guy Who Knows a Guy." He's kinda like Red in Shawshank Redemption: he knows how to get things. But in this case, it's information.

Top 4 candidates for the West Va. job:

Terry Bowden - dream job for him and he is "all in" for the gig.

Jimbo Fisher - the AD will be in contact w/ FSU and there is a chance Jimbo will talk now that the job in his native West Va. is open and he knows Rich Rod pretty well. His buyout at FSU is $2.5 mill and now, W Va can afford it.

Todd Graham - was the co-DC for the M'neers a few yrs back before going to Tulsa as DC and becoming Rice and Tulsa's head coach. IN 2 seasons as a head coach, Graham has led Rice to a bowl last yr and Tulsa to one this season.

Bud Foster - supp. heir apparent to Beamer at Va Tech, where he is the long time coach's DC. But, Beamer prob. isn't retiring in the very near future and Foster hasn't had many legit shots like he could have now.

Two interesting names:

Tommy Bowden - Clemson coach has a proven track record, and like Terry, played ball for the Mountaineers for their pop. Just received a nice contract extension after Arkansas offered, but in this day and age, that doesn't mean he wouldn't consider this job which holds a special place w/ the Bowdens.

Nick Saban - West Va is home to Saban and he makes reference to West Va OFTEN. W Va. would have to come up w/ some major bucks to take Saban away and Saban has also talked abt how tough it is to recruit kids to Morgantown. He once said that there were abt 5 good looking women in the state - Miss West Virginia, his wife Terri, and 3 models that got lost in the state.

Some second tier guys:

Butch Jones - was Rod's WR coach at W Va. and now head coach at central Michigan, where he led the Chippewas to a MAC title in his 1st year. Still short on "major" college head experience. Will probably get to talk w/ the AD.

Darrell Hazell - Asst. head coach at Ohio State that coached a while back at WV. Said to be interested and would want an interview.

In Conference coaches include Brian Kelly of Cincy and Randy Edsall of UCONN.

Would be surprised if the new coach was not one of the first five coaches mentioned here. But then again…nothing should surprise you in this industry…

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Saints (stay) alive

Crappy headline, but I don't the Saints are still playing for something! Tom Mantzouranis of AOL Sports files this report.

"You're gonna have to learn your clichés."

The headline I quoted from Bull Durham. Christ, I hated that movie. But Kevin Costner WAS right about clichés. They're a part of the sports world -- pain in the ass, though. But Gwen Knapp of AOL Sports has a pretty good commentary on who uses the most useless, uninspired jargon in the sports world. Read more.

Friday, December 14, 2007

The best part about the Mitchell Report? The fallout.

Can we say "Tainted Titles" for the Yankees? The New York Post thinks so.

Of course, my Yankee-lovin' dad countered, "Shouldn't the Red Sox title last year be taken away because of Eric Gagne?"

I replied, "You're implying that Gagne actually HELPED the Red Sox win the World Series..." ZING!!!

(Hat Tip to AOL Sports for the original link.)

Your Mitchell Report round-up!

Richard Justice of AOL Sports says the release of the report is good for the game.

Meanwhile, Will Leitch of Deadspin wonders, why the hell did we waste 20 months on that?".

Greg Brady, I mean, Jason Stark of states the obvious: this wouldn't stand up in court. Leitch makes a good point though: Who cares? We wanted our pound of flesh and we got it.

The guys behind 100% Injury Report are of the opinion that Roger Clemens ultimately has it much better than Barry Lamar Bonds. I think people hated (and still hate) Bonds was because he was marching towards baseball's all-time home run record. Chicks dig the long ball...not the 98 mph inside fastball. I know that sounds like an overly simplistic view of the 'Bonds v. Clemens: Who deserves more hate?' BOWL. The correct answer is, of course, both of them.

And finally, The Big Lead was utterly disappointed by the whole damn thing.

Bloggers sure seem disappointed by this whole thing. I think it's because most of them already knew/had suspicions about a number of players and were well aware of the rampart steroids problem plauging the game.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Reggie, it's not your fault...

So...a lot of people are piling up on the "Reggie's a bust!" bandwagon. Bollocks, I say! BOLLOCKS!! Look, Reggie is only in his second year as a pro and has played the better part of said season without a bruising complimentary running back (Deuce McAllister). As a (smart) Saints fans, I know Reggie is not an every down back. He shouldn't be. He's not built for it. He's a high-caliber weapon to be used in various spots. 100% Injury Rate seems to know why Reggie's struggling, and I'm inclined to agree with them.

(Hat tip to Deadspin for sending me there in the first place.)

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Protesters on their way to Atlanta already, I'm sure...

Wanted to bring this up on the radio show with Ralph last night, but we didn't have time. The blog 100% Injury Rate (hat tip to AOL Sports as well) has the video of Arthur Blank in the MNF booth, talking about a possible Michael Vick return:

When Blank uttered the "fried chicken" line, my buddies and I exchanged an "oh sh*t" look and immediately burst into laughter. Why laughter? Because we're certain that somebody's going to have a HUGE problem with Blank's statement--innocent and innocuous as it sounded--and launch a full scale "how dare he?!" commentary against the man. It's only a matter of time.

The funny thing is that, for reasons I don't understand, the whole "fried chicken" thing is considered racist. I don't even know how it came to that. I mean, show me somebody (black or white) who doesn't like fried chicken. I don't see how you stereotype people by what they eat because, chances are, the food's really good and so many other people of different ethnic backgrounds enjoy it, too.

Then again...I immediately jumped to the conclusion that some African-Americans would take Blank's comments the wrong way, so I don't know what that says. Maybe we're all wound up too damn tight: that somebody WOULD take offense to something that sounded so random and innocent, and that I would automatically assume that somebody WOULD be offended.

I almost wish Arthur Blank would've just said "fatty foods" instead.

Falcons -- Good for what ails ya!

When Saints fans (myself included) were screaming for the head of Sean Payton after last Sunday's debacle against Tampa Bay, somehow we all had to know the Saints would relish the chance to blast the Falcons on national television -- which they did. Read more.

David Patten and Marques Colston were lights out, and Drew Brees dissected the Falcons' secondary like a ninth grader cutting up a damn frog in biology class. Kudos to Payton for having the balls to run the reverse to Devery Henderson on the very first play from scrimmage...and additional kudos for having even more balls for going for it on fourth down (that means Payton has something like eight pairs of testicles, right?)

Spoke with Ralph tonight on the postgame show at Forecast Radio, and we had some jag-off Falcon fan call in and try to stir the drink with a Katrina comment. Classy, Atlanta. Ralph had a pretty good joke about Atlantans: "I watch 'Gone With the Wind' over and over just to see Sherman torch Atlanta time and again."

I don't want to think about the playoffs at this point...I'd rather savor the win against our bitter rivals for the week. But I do know that the Saints-Cardinals game WILL BE an elimination game of sorts.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Joe Horn takes swipe at Sean Payton

He managed to keep it classy when he left the Saints at the end of the 2006 season, but Joe Horn decided now was the time to open his mouth and take "umbrage" (good word) with Coach Sean Payton. Read more.

Look, it may be true that Sean Payton didn't want Joe Horn after last season. Joe was getting older and his production had dipped (any one doubt me? look his stats THIS SEASON), but the thing that pisses me off most is that he signed with the Saints' bitter rivals, the Atlanta Falcons. It makes it very difficult not to boo this clown when the Falcons play the Saints.

Maybe in a few years I can get over it and appreciate the good years he gave this team and city, but in the broke my heart, Fredo Joe.

Sunday, December 9, 2007

Suddenly, the Red Sox may actually HAVE TO GET Johan...

Red Sox fans seem to fall into two camps right now:

1. Yes, we're willing to part with Jacoby Ellsbury in a package deal to get Johan Santana.


2. No, we're not giving up The Ellsbury Doughboy (Like it? Made it up on the spot.) for Santana. The Twins are either taking Coco Crisp, Jon Lester and a prospect or two or else they can kiss my ass!

I've been firmly entrenched in that latter group. However, when the Detroit Tigers pick up Miguel Cabrera AND Dontrelle Willis, well...I've got only three words for it:
Jesus. Fucking. Christ.

The Red Sox might not be the favorites going into the 2008 season. But hey, at least it's not the Yankees.

And by the way...kudos to My Brain Says Rage for posting instructions on how to build your own crappy sports blog. Wish I'd found this thing before I got started, but I think I'm getting the hang of it:

Thursday, December 6, 2007

No posting no cry...

Sorry for the lack of posts in the last six days. Been job hunting. It's a lot like searching for a college to attend. (Where is it? What's the crime like in that area? Are the people nice? And so on...and I'm not even taking into account, you know, the pay scale.)

But I come baring gifts, in the form of this tremendous post on Sports Illustrated's On Campus section comparing BCS teams to pro wrestlers. Papa Shango?! Seriously...Papa friggin' Shango?! If you wanna go obscure wrestlers, why not go with Max Moon or Saba Simba. Bonus points to Ty Hildenbrandt for bringing up Hacksaw Jim Duggan's Royal Rumble win in 1988. (Kudos to The Big Lead)

And I also bring you The Pro Bowl voting form!

Still not impressed? Well at no extra charge, I bring Deuce of Davenport's look at the injuries of daredevil Evil Knievel and quarterback Steve McNair. (Kudos to Deadspin)


Oh, and one more thing...

That would be Trish Stratus. She's a lady wrestler. At least, I still think she is. I haven't watched that shit in about five years.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Your one stop Heisman analysis shop

Heisman Pundit and Heisman Hopefuls are two of the best blogs I've read on the subject. That, and they were easy to find through Google and Yahoo.

The consensus seems to be that it's between Darren McFadden, Tim Tebow and Chase Daniel, but not necessarily in that order. Actually, I'd give it to Tebow. Forget the fact that he's a sophomore. If you were NCAA College Football on your Xbox 360 and played with a quarterback that did all that, you'd win the damn award. And I'm not about to dispute the validity of video games providing me with in depth analysis. Fuck, I started a blog, what does THAT tell you? (Note: Can you even answer that question? I think not...)

Heisman Pundit is actually the deeper of the two blogs, as it seems the creator posts several times throughout the day. He's like the Mel Kiper of Heisman stuff -- he's always around, scouting, watching...judging.

As an added bonus, here's a one of my favorite posts from Heisman Pundit, involving the spread offense.

The best fake interview. EVER.

I'll post one question and answer here, just to whet your appetite, for the rest, visit Kiss Suzy Kolber.

Roy K., Boston: Michael, what is your opinion on the Patriots? Do you think they can go undefeated?

Wilbon: What a stupid question. I don’t know if they can go undefeated unless they GO undefeated, okay? Is their record impressive right now? Yes. Would I be surprised if they lost? Not in the least. Now I know Bill Belichick a little bit. Not a lot. Just a little. We’ve hung out at a few… gentlemen’s establishments. He knows how hard it is to go undefeated, okay? So don’t bring that undefeated talk in here. It’s just a bunch of junk. You don’t know. I don’t know. But would I be surprised if they went 19-0? Not in the least. Knucklehead.

Look, I like Michael Wilbon, okay? I don't know the guy personally, but I do watch PTI almost everyday and think he's a good cat, alright? Don't bring any of that 'he likes Wilbon, so he must be a tool' junk out here! Shit...that's waaaay too easy.

Monday, November 26, 2007

"When it comes crashing down and it hurts inside..."

REALLY surprised nobody from the blogdome made that joke yet regarding Hulk Hogan's impending divorce from his wife. Not even a "Whatcha gonna do?" riff on the Hulkster getting totally caught off guard by the misses? Or maybe a "how can 'Hogan Know Best' when he don't even know his own wife!?" Read more. Christ, I should write for Jay Leno...

Thanks to The Big Lead for posting this one.

Sean Taylor shot

Redskins safety Sean Taylor shot when somebody tried to burglarize his Miami home. Read more. I'm waiting for an 'Outside the Lines' special report on athletes who becom victims of crime. And I'm not trying to be cute or funny here; it's going to happen.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Onward to victory, for 3-9 Notre Dame!

As a Notre Dame fan, all I can say was a rebuilding year? I mean, beating Stanford 21-14 SHOULDN'T make me feel this happy, right? Here's hoping Charlie Weis gets cracking on this year's recruiting trips...immediately after this year's requisite bowl appearance.

No. 1 no more!

Day late. Don't care.
LSU falls to Arkansas in a thrilling triple-overtime game Friday afternoon. In a season of upsets, this one might crack the top five. LSU's other loss, to Kentucky, doesn't even register as an upset since the Tigers were playing on the road against a ranked conference foe. But a loss at home to an unranked Arkansas team? Different story altogether. I kept waiting for somebody to explain to me how LSU could get beat by a team who's starting quarterback--Casey Dick--went only 10 of 18 for 94 yards and 1 passing TD?

And then I realized...LSU wasn't playing like a number one team. Injuries had taken their toll on the LSU roster, and the SEC is already a tough nut (no Arkansas pun intended) to crack when your team is healthy, let alone when you've got defenders dropping like flies.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Forecast: Sean Payton's worth will show next off season

(Editor's note: My buddy Ralph Malbrough, aka "The Forecast," has graciously agreed to start contributing to this site. You may have read his work on Actually, this is kind of a double-dip, but since he gave me permission to post his work, I don't have to link to anybody. Sweet. He'll chime in with columns and stuff from here on out on a semi-regular basis.)

In 2006, the Saints hit a grand slam in the off-season. Sean Payton and Mickey Loomis brought in Drew Brees, Reggie Bush, Marcus Colston, Hollis Thomas and Jahri Evans just to name a few, and presto, the Saints were a win away from a Super Bowl appearance.

The 2007 off-season might as well be called "The Lost Boys" because all of the players brought in are either contributing to losses (Jason David, Olinda Mare) or have done nothing at all and are hard to find while watching games (Robert Meachem, Kevin Kaesviharn).

So what does it mean besides the Saints have been on both ends of the talent evaluating scale? It means we'll see how Sean Payton reacts to mistakes in personnel.

When a coach gets hired it's easy to clean house because those players aren't ones he drafted or signed. But what happens when players brought in on his watch struggle? Will Sean Payton admit his mistakes and move on, or will he be like Jim Haslett and Mike Ditka and let his bad personal decisions sink him?

Many fans would say he won't admit his mistakes because Jason David is still playing, but right now, the Saints don't have a better option. Though at this point we all want to see anybody but Jason David on the field. I will give David his due for not hiding from the media. He takes the pounding after his horrible games, so give him credit for that.

If Jason David is still the starting corner next preseason, then we'll know Sean Payton doesn't admit mistakes. Right now we don't have an answer, but it will be the off-season's biggest question…perhaps the only one we need answered.

Last week: 4-0-1
Season 26-29-1

New Orleans (-3) at Carolina: My first instinct was to pick the Panthers because Steve Smith owns the Saints and even 900-year-old Vinny Testaverde can light up the Saints secondary. But the Panthers aren't any better than the Saints and I think Drew Brees is due for another 375 yard, 4 touchdown game.

I'm totally okay with Sean Payton going run and shoot with the offense. In fact, the Saints are like the Hawaii Rainbows under June Jones: all pass, all the time. It's cool, but Sean Payton should wear a lei on the sidelines just to make it official. It could even be black and gold if he likes.

On a negative note, if Jason David doesn't stop looking into the back field while receivers run wild and free, I may have to start getting sedated during these games. Saints 27-21

New England (-23) over Philadelphia: I'm cool with Bill Belichick running up the score, but I'd also be okay if a defensive lineman planted Tom Brady into the turf on a late hit after he completes a fourth down pass with the Cheatriots up 45-7. There, I said it. Patriots 56-7

Green Bay (-3.5) at Detroit: This game seems to set up perfect for the Lions because they are usually good on Thanksgiving and they are decent this year. Except they have the look of a team headed for a second half collapse. The good news is if they finish 8-8, Matt Millen will get a lifetime contract. Packers 34-27

Cleveland (-3.5) vs. Houston: If you don’t think the Browns are going 10-6, winning a playoff game, and then getting hammered by the Patriots in January, you didn't see last week's game. The Browns had a missed field goal overturned (even though the referees got the call right). Good Lord, has that ever happened?

The Browns have all that good karma the Saints had last year. I like watching them. Teams with great offense and bad defense are always fun. Every week is a shoot out. The Browns are my second favorite team to watch this season behind the Saints. The good times roll. Browns 34-31

Baltimore (+9.5) at San Diego: This battle of ineptitude between Norv Turner and Brian Billick has me excited. Turner has destroyed a Super Bowl contender and Billick has continued his quest to put offensive football back into the 1920’s. It will be so bad it’s good. Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Chargers 6-5

Ralph Malbrough is a Saints fan living in Oakland, California. He co-hosts an internet radio show every week with WWLTV.coms Kevin Held (Sunday post-game show at 5 p.m.). You can listen live or download archived versions of the show at Or if you want it on your iPod, search Forecast Radio on iTunes. Ralph Malbrough can be emailed at

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Can't we just slap fight our differences out?

Bas Rutten. He's a UFC guy who sounds like a more masculine Yakov Smirnov. In this video, he demonstrates how to fend off an attacker in a bar room well as in a boxing ring. Cause if there's one place I frequent at night, it's a boxing ring. Best thing about the video: Bas does the Jackie Gleason "Bang! Zoom!" voice when throwing imaginary kicks and punches. Forget Gleason knocking Alice to the moon in "The Honeymooners," Bas Rutten would knock that woman clear out the damn solar system. (Yeah, I just made a reference to a 1950s television show. Deal with it.)

Thanks to Food Court Lunch and The Big Lead.

Dwight Howard IS the Brute Squad!

Just as he's about to take the next big step, Tyson Chandler goes down with a knee injury tonight in the Hornets' loss at home against the Orlando Magic. Wanna talk about a guy who's coming into his own? Magic center Dwight Howard. 24 points and 15 rebounds. That guy belongs on the friggin' Brute Squad:

Monday, November 19, 2007

Hornets owner not happy with ticket sales

Wait, you mean George Shinn isn't thrilled to have moved out of a place where he was averaging well over 15,000 fans per game (Oklahoma City) and back to a place where he's lucky to crack 10,000 per game (New Orleans)? The audicity of that man!

I'm happy the Hornets came back to the Crescent City and vowed to go to at least 10 home games this season. I can't blame Shinn for chastizing New Orleans sports fans here. When only 9,000 people show up to watch a 9-2 team, something is terribly wrong with the fanbase. I understand that the Saints and LSU will always be bigger draws in southeast Louisiana than the Hornets, but fans should know that Shinn will vacate this city (and fast) when the team's lease with the city ends in a couple of years.

Part of the problem is that a large number of people who could afford to go to more games per season moved out of the city, particularly to the Northshore (St. Tammany and Tangipahoa parishes), and don't want to make the 30 mile drive to downtown Orleans to the N.O. Arena, only to get pricegouged for parking near the facility.

I'd like to believe that if the team continues winning, and at least stays competitive, than the butts will be in the seats, even for games that don't feature marquee opponents...but I won't hold my breath.

Newsflash! Steroids still in wrestling!

A USA Today coverstory highlights the continuing problems of 'roids in pro-wrestling. Not much new with this report, except for the mention that Chris Benoit kept a series of letters/diary written for his friend, fellow wrestler Eddie Guerrero, who died in 2005.

I stopped watching wrestling several years ago due to the ridiculous "storylines" in the shows, but it's still difficult to reconcile the fact that a guy I once admired in the business would just snap and kill his wife and son... Read more.

Suzy Kolber wouldn't be THAT obvious, Andrea Kremer!

The Big Lead beat me to the punch (this blog's a one man operation, folks), but Andrea Kremer REALLY needs to tone down her fawning over Tom Brady during future post-game interviews. I caught the tail end of this one with my girlfriend, who was VERY excited to see the Brady interview -- but not as excited as Ms. Kremer, who bats her eyelashes well over 50 times during a sixty second interview with the New England dreamboat (yeah, that's right, I said it), and right in front of Randy Moss, too! I mean, where's the professionalism, people? Watch the video.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Saints continue to disappoint!

Saints fans everywhere get to hear a week of "Mario Williams is a better player than Reggie Bush" and "the Texans absolutely made the correct call in drafting Williams over Bush and Vince Young." Great.

First. Post. Ever.

My name's Kevin and I'll be your captain on this blog. My goal is to get a few friends to join me in posting to this site, that way I'm not doing all the heavy lifting. I suppose you could call this initial post my blog manifesto.

Having read a number of really good blogs over the last year (Deadspin and The Big Lead immediately come to mind), I've determined a few things are necessary for me to have a quality blog (in no particular order):

1. (Linking to/Giving credit to) other blogs who post an interesting story first.

2. Random movie reviews., Live Free or Die Hard was not the train wreck I expected it to be. However, I'll make the effort to try and make a sports connection to it. Such, the Green Bay Packers are just like Live Free or Die Hard this season!

3. Posting material about my favorite/hometown team, the New Orleans Saints. Hence the name of the blog. Oh, and by the way...

4. I'll also post as many videos as I can in this blog. I'm just trying to get the hang of this HTML-thing.

5. Pictures of attractive women. The less clothing, the better. I'm "efforting" this as we speak. I'd like to have a solid line-up established before I go all post happy.