Thursday, May 29, 2008

Flopus Maximus will be disappointed...

So much for the winning the NBA Title in odd-numbered years, Spurs fans. The NBA announced it will impose fines for flopping next season. Well, that pretty much ends the careers of: Robert Horry, Manu Ginobli, Tony Parker and Bruce Bowen.

Ladies and gentlemen, our long national nightmare is over!

What? What's that you say? The Hornets were pretty bad floppers, too? Uh-huh. Tell you what, if this policy is active next season, I'll bet a case of Coca-Cola (or whatever sugary, caffeine-fueled beverage you choose) to somebody with a Spurs blog that the Spurs will have more flop-related fines than the Hornets.

Oh, and I have video evidence on them Spurs, as seen here:

And here:

And this one:

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Great Birthday Gift Heading My Way...

DeNiro. Pacino. Together again on-screen...this time for longer than 15 minutes! Holy shit, AND Brian Dennehy? This September! Looks like my birthday is getting a quality +1.

Watch the trailer.

Hey, it might not be as awesome as 'Heat' (what is?), but it's still looks pretty goddamn good.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

The latest on the Charles Grant...Oh shit, look at that headline!

I found this on (also linked on The Big Lead) and stumbled upon the following headline:

"Charles Grant says the truth will come out concerning his charge of involuantary manslaughter, but the case could threaten his freedom, career and reputation"

Jesus tap-dancing Christ, does ANYBODY teach people how to write a headline these days? (Never mind the fact that they misspelled "involuntary.") Look, I don't claim to be the lord and chancellor of headline writing, but since I work in the media and either write headlines or cut and paste several for AP stories, I can say I know when I see a good headline...and a bad one, as well. I know a good or bad headline when I see it. Like pornographic materials.

Moving along then...

When I began writing for my collegiate newspaper, various editors-in-chief told me that the headline should grab a reader's attention and make him or her want to READ the story.

In my first real, adult-type job at a television station (working on the station's website), my boss told me, "Don't write headlines that are four lines long. Don't give away too much information. Keep it short and to the point. Only be longwinded if it's absolutely necessary."

Rules of headline writing can even be found on that series of tubes known as the Internet, more specifically, right here.

I used to write headlines that were brutally long. Maybe not as long as the Charles Grant debacle up top, but I can say I know a bad headline when I see one because I HAVE WRITTEN BAD HEADLINES before. On occasion, I still do. Of course, now I recognize places where I can trim a word or change things around after the fact and eventually make corrections.

Let's tackle the headline in question as my primary example:

Charles Grant says the truth will come out concerning his charge of involuntary manslaughter, but the case could threaten his freedom, career and reputation (24 words)

I came up with three substitute headlines:

1. Grant: Charges could threaten freedom, career and reputation (8 words)
(Side Note: If you're from New Orleans or the surrounding area, you likely KNOW who 'Grant' is in this case. You could maybe put 'Charles Grant' or 'football player' in there for more national copy. Hell, you could add 'Involuntary manslaughter' in front of the word 'charges' and it would still be a smaller headline than the original one.)

2. Police report says witness identified Grant as gunman in Georgia nightclub shooting (12 words)
(Side Note: Again, you could change 'Grant' to 'Charles Grant' or 'football player' and it would still be shorter)

3. Grant says name, money might have made him a target in nightclub altercation (13 words)

And so on...I'll probably be thinking of seven or eight other possible headlines tonight when I'm out at the bar watching Lakers v. Spurs. That's how my mind works. I'm lame like that.

Look, I'm not here to necessarily blast the writer or whoever came up with that headline, but the fact remains there are far too many people who simply glance at headlines and bullet points to get their news, and maybe large headlines like this are part of the problem.

The public at large should certainly be held accountable. The printed word is not as well respected as it once was. No, I'm not here to foist the problems of newspapers' receding business on long headlines, but it's just one of those rules of good journalism that I'm always a stickler for. Maybe I shouldn't be this surly about it, but I know if I don't like something, I'm apt not to read or buy it. And isn't that what this business ultimately boils down to? Selling?

And for the record, my headline for this blog entry is 12 words. If you want to add the ellipses, it's still far shorter than the problematic headline.

Hornets win the 'Battle for Legitimacy'; up next, the 'Battle of the Network Stars'

So there may be fewer posts now that the Hornets are out of the playoff picture. Unless, of course, another Saints player gets indicted or something. Anyway,, posted a brilliant fan piece by Dale "Mikey" Corcoran about the team's fight to get attention, from the nation and their own city, and how they succeeded on both fronts.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Enjoy that plane ride to L.A., Timmy?

Armstrong International Airport (and charter flights): Serving the San Antonio Spurs a turd sandwich since...oh, a few days ago.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

N.O. sports fans: Having the carpet pulled out from under us since 1967

Jesus tap dancing Christ! Hasn't New Orleans been through enough in the last...oh, I don't know, FOREVER?

Hey football fans, wanna know a real surefire way to tell when your off-season is going into the shitter?

Two quick clues: 1) a veteran free agent--albeit an injury prone guy, but whatever--whom you signed in the off-season to bolster your defense decides to RETIRE more than a month AFTER the NFL Draft.

And 2) your starting defensive end, whom you just signed to a $60 million contract the year before, gets indicted for involuntary manslaughter.

That's right, people, Charles Grant has been indicted on a charge of involuntary manslaughter stemming from a February altercation at a nightclub. One day after Dan Morgan retires. One day after Chris Paul and the Hornets are ousted from the NBA post-season courtesy of the Spurs of Mordor. Seriously, doesn't Manu Ginobli look like a fuckin' goblin from "Lord of the Rings?" But I digress...

As the late Buddy D might say, "The City of Louisiana" is in mourning...

You know, Dan Morgan, as a man I've got no problem with you retiring because of injuries and so you could spend more time with your family. That's great. Good for you. Work on the ol' golf swing in your downtime. But as a fan, I must take umbrage with the timing of your decision, or should I say, lack thereof. I fail to understand how something like this doesn't come up with Saints management, either. If Sean Payton and Mickey Loomis thought for even a second that Morgan wasn't up to snuff, they should have drafted a linebacker, instead of picking up three guys from the UDFA scrap pile whom I wouldn't recognize if they walked up to me wearing "Hi, my name is ..." tags on their shirts.

And if Saints management didn't think Dan Morgan would be up to snuff, then they deserve a racking over the coals for not drafting a linebacker.

As for Charles Grant...I don't even know what to say. You just hope that he wasn't really involved in a woman's death in some capacity. I mean, why would the grand jury wait nearly four months to indict you? It'd be one thing if police or prosecutors in Blakely, Georgia, simply overreacted in the days following the incident and threw some charges at Grant...but the fact that this took some time just means that the clouds hovering over the Saints' off-season won't dissipate so easily.

If I'm Chuck's attorney, I'm going with the "Chuck didn't kill nobody because, well, the Saints need a pass rush, God damn it!" defense. Not quite as awesome as the Chewbacca defense, but it's still pretty good.

In other news, Will Smith's potential holdout just became all the more problematic. Hey Saints fans, how does a starting defensive end combo of Josh Cooper and Bobby McCray suit you? I think I just threw up in my mouth...

Can somebody call Tyson Chandler and see if he wants to earn some extra cash?

Monday, May 19, 2008

Tim Duncan, prepare to meet Hell!

Look, it was either the Indiana Jones reference for my headline or else "Their can be only one" from The Highlander. In the end I opted for timeliness. That, and the fact that ABC/ESPN have sort of co-opted the "only one" thing for their playoff marketing campaign. But I digress...

I'm writing this a little after midnight on Monday, and I've got four things tumbling around my brain like clothes in a dryer. (Author's note: I apologize in for the cringe-worthy simile.):

1. I wish I wasn't still in my first 90 days at work, otherwise I could take tomorrow night off and watch the game.
2. Will Robert Horry have his thumping heart ripped out by some evil priest and tossed into a pit of fire before or during Game 7? Or, failing that, maybe I'd settle for Mike James doing the honors with the heart ripping...
3. I hope Kingdom of the Crystal Skull doesn't suck.
4. Cormac McCarthy really ought to option the rights for his post-apocalyptic novel "The Road."

The night before Game 6, I wrote that the Hornets were playing with house money. They still are. Seven of ESPN's 10 basketball "experts" picked the Spurs to win the series in six games over on Two more picked the Spurs to win in seven games, with only John "I don't know who Ric Flair is" Hollinger backing the Hornets to win the series.

The Hornets have already defied common hoops logic (or expectation...whichever buzz word gets thrown around on 'Around the Horn') by hanging tough with the defending champs. I'm not here to give you expert analysis. Here's what I know as a fan:

1. Somebody needs to make sure the wind up device is cranked all the way on Peja prior to tip-off.
2. The team cannot get frazzled early by either bad calls or missed shots.
3. David West's back isn't okay (in my mind) until I see him run the length of the court once on transition defense.
4. The bench really needs to step up more.

On that last note...Bonzi Wells is averaging 4 points, 3.2 rebounds, and nearly 14 minutes per game in this series; Jannero Pargo has averaged 5.2 points and just over a pair of assists while playing almost 18 minutes. And Julian Wright is averaging 4.3 points in about 12 minutes. Not good. Those numbers need to improve drastically.

I plan on following the game while I'm at work later tonight...someway, somehow. If we're all lucky, not only will the Hornets win, but Gregg Popovich's face might melt off:

Come on, it's an Indiana Jones-themed post, you thought I wasn't going to put that in there?

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Forecast: San Antonio’s the perfect villain

Malbrough over at gives us more reasons to hate San Antonio...I totally forgot those bastards tried to steal the Saints..assholes

By Ralph Malbrough

How does a city truly bond with a sports team?


New Orleans and the Hornets are about to make some tonight.

We bond with our teams through either the ecstasy of the big victory or the heart ache of a crushing loss and the memory it leaves.

That’s what sports are really about.

Sure the ride with the Hornets has been fun but tonight it’ll be different.
Welcome to a Game 7.

In a sport where there are 82 games and seven game playoff series there seemingly is always a tomorrow.

Not now.

Throw in the fact the Hornets are playing a conniving city (San Antonio) and a dirty team (the Spurs) and you have the perfect villain.

San Antonio is a conniving city because after Katrina while we were flat on our backs they tried to steal our football team. Don’t ever forget that. Really the only thing keeping the Saints here was Paul Tagliabue’s conscience.

And of course the Spurs as a basketball team are incredibly dirty.

I could ramble on about Bruce Bowen and their tendency to flop to get calls but I’ll just stick to Robert Horry as my example why they are dirty.

What he did to David West wasn’t illegal but for Spurs fans and even the national media to say it wasn’t intentional is laughable.

Marc Stein of wrote, “Horry couldn't have known that West was going to leap for Manu Ginobili's entry pass, which appeared to be what caused West to smack so hard into Horry behind him. “

What West was doing had nothing to do with what Horry did.

Marc, if you are looking to deliver a hard foul to someone it’s really easy to do. Horry knew exactly what he was doing. He waited for his chance than pounded David West in the back.

He wanted to deliver a really hard foul to West and if West’s back injury flared up or became worse all the better.

At least Spurs fans embraced their team’s villain behavior by chanting Horry’s name as David West was helped off the court. Stay classy San Antonio.

Those fans and that team deserve each other.

Did the previous paragraphs fire you up a little more? Good, that was the point. It’s Game 7 people, fans need to be ready too.

As for the actual game, it’s all about Chris Paul.

With the Hornets it always is.

I expect this game to be filled with emotional swings, great plays, high drama, and intense pressure.

I also expect Chris Paul to respond like he always does and the Hornets to follow his lead.

The Hornets are Paul’s team and how he responds to the magnitude of the moment will likely be how they do as well.

The Hornets need Paul’s best because to expect anything less than greatness from Tim Duncan would be foolish.

As for David West, my gut says three days of rest and the adrenaline of Game 7 will allow him to play well.

The real question is which teams supporting players step up?

Which leads us to Peja Stojakovic.

The Hornets need him to play well but his history in Game 7’s with Sacramento is quite frankly horrifying.

Peja needs to shake free from Bruce Bowen and score like he did in the series first two games because Spurs won’t go down easy.

This game will be no blowout.

If the Hornets want to defeat the champs they’ll have to take every punch the Spurs have and probably a few dirty blows as well.

There will come a moment tonight where the Hornets and the New Orleans Arena crowd will be staring the end of this magical season right in the face.

Whatever the response it will bond the city to its basketball team a little tighter and make the Hornets part of the fabric of New Orleans.

Win or lose that’s a good thing.

Of course watching Tim Duncan and the rest of the insufferable Spurs celebrating in New Orleans might be more than I can stomach.

So the Hornets should just make this easier on me and win.

New Orleans can hardly wait for an NBA playoff game, who’d have thought that was possible?

Ralph Malbrough is a Hornets fan living in Houston. He can be reached at

Friday, May 16, 2008

San Antonio makes Chris Paul sad!

Spurs 99, Hornets 80. We're looking at an epic Game 7 in The Big Easy on Monday. Thank God for those three days of rest. David West's back is gonna need it after the, eh..."incident" involving Mr. Flopus Maximus, Robert Horry. Why am I not calling him 'Cheap Shot Rob?' Cause it's a waste of breath, considering so many others are already doing it for me.

No need to go into some kind of game recap, here's some quality stuff if you want to read about the game. All you have to know is that David West didn't play so well prior to getting hurt and that the third quarter was a death blow for the Hornets ... should've seen that one coming after they drew five fouls in less than 90 seconds.

My buddy Taylor (who still lives in New Orleans) gave me a call last night after the game (obviously inebriated), here's a loose transcript of that phone call:

Taylor (loud noise in the background): Hello?!

Me: Taylor, what's up?

Taylor: Fuckin' San Antonio Spurs!

Me: I know.

Taylor: Are you gonna call out the NBA as a league on your blog?

Me: Uh, haven't thought about that, why?

Taylor: That game was the most EGREGIOUS display of ... unprofessionalism that I have EVER seen! I mean, I mean, the fans were CHEERING when Robert Horry put David West in a hurt locker! They cheered him! And don't get me started on Horry, bro, I'll go on for hours!

Me: The Spurs definitely seemed to be getting a shit-load of calls going their way...

Taylor (interrupting): Absolutely! The fucking referees ought to be drawn and quartered! David Stern ought to be ashamed of himself--ASHAMED!--for that debacle we saw on TV tonight! An absolute LACK of professionalism! I've watched the NBA since I was five--FIVE!--and I have never seen as big a debacle as this! The fact that the Hornets didn't gang up on Robert Horry en masse and castrate him on the spot shows their discipline as a team!

Me: Yeah, but I think somebody'll set a couple hard picks on him in Game 7...

Taylor: If Bill Laimbeer were around, he'd have palmed Robert Horry's head and SLAMMED against the floor. THAT's how they handled things back then! Do you think Kevin Garnett would've let that happen? You think Zaza Pachulia doesn't know what KG's all about!?

Me: Robert Horry's an asshole, what else can you say?

Taylor: Fuckin' Robert Horry...and you know I've LONG been a supporter of Robert Horry. People bring up Horry in a conversation, and I've always been like, "Yeah, Horry's the guy to get you out of a jam." After tonight's game, he's fucking dead to me! Guy can take all those rings and shove 'em up his ass! And did you SEE the bullshit with the refs in the third quarter?

Me: No, what are you talking about?

Taylor: I was listening to the radio call on the way to the bar to watch the rest of the game, and the local guys said after those five quick fouls the Hornets called timeout and the head ref guy is over on the sideline LAUGHING IT UP with Gregg Popovich! Unprofessionalism, man! Unprofessional! EGREGIOUS!

(In the background, I hear one of our friends come up to him.)

Friend: "Who are you on the phone with?"

Taylor: I'm talking to ----- about the goddamn Spurs and Robert Horry!

Friend: Dude, let it go for now, it's not worth it!

Taylor: Yeah, you're right! I gotta go!

Me: Okay...

Taylor: But one more thing...the San Antonio Spurs and ESPECIALLY Robert Horry can all rot in the deepest circle of hell, you hear me!?

Me: Absolutely.

Taylor: Alright, later.

Me: Bye.

So I think it's pretty safe to say that: A) the Spurs can all rot in hell, B) some of the referees' actions could be considered dicey, and C) Robert Horry lost a fan who now wants somebody to dribble his head on the court like a basketball.

I'm already licking my chops for Monday.

Crap, Crap, Crap, Crap, CRAP!

Hornets lose. David West re-injures back. It was Robert Horry, in the study, with the wrench. Too busy shaking my head and slamming it against my desk to actually post something. I'll get around to it tomorrow morning.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Can the Hornets REALLY do this...?

Come tomorrow, we could be living in a world where the malevolent San Antonio Spurs are NOT the best team in professional basketball. It's a frighteningly hopeful notion, though, seeing Gregg Popovich's "bore the shit out of you" style of hoops beaten at home by a group of young upstarts led by Should-Have-Been-MVP Chris Paul.

Of course, the San Antonio fans are taking everything in stride, already asking themselves if the referees should be blamed should the Spurs ultimately lose the series. Considering the Spurs have been The League of Extraordinary Whiners the last seven years, I think it'd be only proper if their undoing were to come in the form of a few calls going the other way. However, the Hornets have not gotten away with anywhere near as much as the Spurs have in these playoffs.

As a Hornets fan, I'm playing with the house money, just like I did in 2006 with the Saints. Sure, the Saints were a better team than the Chicago Bears, but the disappointment in that loss did not sting for long. The Saints were supposed to be just slightly better than terrible that year, only to make it to the NFC Championship Game. The Hornets were thought to be among the Western Conference teams missing out on that eight seed and a sure ass-kicking in round one.

But the Hornets (and Chris Paul) became bonafide contenders this year when all common sense would have led you to think otherwise. This was supposed to be another ho-hum season resulting in yet another anti-climactic Spurs vs. whoever showdown in which the grinders and floppers ultimately prevailed yet again, leaving anybody who's ever cared for entertaining basketball to grit their teeth, shake their fists, and hope that the next year would be different.

This IS that next year. If the Hornets do eliminate the Spurs either tonight or on Monday, the chances of having an entertaining NBA Finals match-up goes up dramatically.

The Spurs make for the perfect foil in the playoffs: they're championship caliber, but they play a maddening style of slow-paced basketball, only choosing to run when the mood suits them. The coach is a blowhard, a number of their players flop around like world class soccer prima donnas, raising their arms with a "what did I do?" sense of entitlement every time a foul is called against them, their big defensive cog is known across the league as a dirty player with enough YouTube videos showing him kneeing guys in the balls to shake a stick at. So yeah, you could say I hate the San Antonio Spurs.

And you'd think that'd be fine list of reasons not to like the Spurs, right? Well, I've got another reason. The Spurs just happened to be the favorite team of an ex-girlfriend, and Tim Duncan also happens to be her favorite player. Now, you could argue that's just nonsense on my part to hate the Spurs (and Mr. Duncan) for that. I mean, I broke up with this crazy girl nearly five years ago, why hold a grudge?

The way I look at it, that's one of the joys of being a sports fan: you can believe a whole lot of things that have little or no merit whatsoever.

Go Hornets.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Appropriate versus Inappropriate

Time for another edition of...what's that? We've never done this one before? Well then...time for the FIRST EVER edition of the new multiple choice game show: Appropriate versus Inappropriate (from the makers of 'Good Idea, Bad Idea')

Tell us which of the following cutouts are "inappropriate":





E) All of the above

F) None of the above

If you answered "C" then you're correct. A rape trial is not funny. But making fun of a guy's infidelity with his wife? TOTALLY acceptable. There's the challenge all you Utah Jazz fans: find a way to make jokes about Kobe's wife's MASSIVE 'Forgive Me' ring. (Hat Tip to Deadspin for that photo)

As for option "D" ... Eva Longoria is far game, provided it's handled in a sensible manner, like so. The guy simply pasted her head on top of a Honeybee cutout. No big deal. It's amusing. (Hat tip to for that photo)

Hornets win, so why am I concerned?

Ralph Malbrough over at is concerned about the injured Hornets...
Forecast: Are Hornets in trouble despite the win?

Not to put a damper on the Hornets' Game 5 romp, but our local basketball team is in trouble if David West and Tyson Chandler have serious injuries.

It’s that simple.
West scored 24 points and kept the Hornets close during a first half where San Antonio was raining in threes and New Orleans was ice cold shooting.

The Hornets were very fortunate to trail by only three at the half.

Chris Paul then took control in the third quarter as the Hornets outscored the Spurs 28-11. The Spurs never got closer than eight the rest of the way.

So after a replay of the first two games, the Hornets answered the question of whether they can handle playoff pressure.

Now two of their main weapons will have to answer the question of health going into Game 6.
Both West and Chandler say they’ll be fine for Game 6 but in a post-game interview, Chandler acknowledged he won’t be able to walk on his injured foot tonight.

I’m no doctor but that can’t be good.

The Hornets need Chandler’s defense on Tim Duncan and his offensive rebounding if they are going to win this series.

If either Melvin Ely or Hilton Armstrong play a prominent role in the final two games -- be afraid; be very afraid.

David West did continue to play great even after injuring his back in the second quarter so the outlook for him seems better.

Let’s hope so because the Spurs have absolutely no answer for him.

Gregg Popovich admitted as much in his post-game press conference and looked almost sick talking about West’s 38 point explosion.

So you think you can be an NBA head coach? How should Byron Scott handle the injuries to West and Chandler?

What if Tyson Chandler and David West struggle with their injuries? Does he pull them early and give them rest for a Game 7?

Not easy choices. Good luck with that, Byron.

Don’t think all is doom and gloom in Hornetville.

Chris Paul and company get a pressure free shot to close out the world champions.

Yes, it’s on the road and the Hornets are banged up but eventually a game in this series will come down to the final minutes.

It might as well be Thursday night.

Besides, while Chris Paul has been nothing short of spectacular, he needs a buzzer beating shot to win a close game to silence the few doubters left.

That would be great except something about this series says, “Classic Game 7.”

I can’t exactly tell you why but something tells me Chris Paul and Tim Duncan will have a duel to the death come next Monday night.

But what do I know?

I thought the Spurs would win Game 5.

Ralph Malbrough is a Hornets fan living in Houston. He can be reached at

Monday, May 12, 2008

Ah, Kim Kardashian, you lovable scamp!

After reading about the Spurs pulling a Jason Voorhees, I really needed to have a good laugh. Luckily for me, SI's 'Hot Clicks' blog linked to some Kim Kardashian photos. Why's that funny? Because she took some racy pics to make a calendar for her boyfriend, Saints running back Reggie Bush. Even funnier? Her mom decided to sell the calendar. Funnier still? Reggie (allegedly got pissed) and Kimmy had to buy all the calendars back.

Look, I've got a friend who once took pictures of himself posing as movie heroes (Indiana Jones, The Punisher, etc.) and used them to make a calendar for his then-fiancee. It is NEVER a good idea to make a calendar of yourself for anyone at any time.

Oh yeah, hat tip goes to Co-Ed Magazine for posting some of the pics. Reggie, I'd be more upset that your gal posed for Playboy than by these pics.

But hey, what do I know, I'm just a dude in an apartment...

Sunday, May 11, 2008

New Orleans, say hello playoff basketball

I could join in with the chorus of doom and gloom about the Hornets crap like performance against the Spurs in game four but why bother?

What's done is done.

The cool thing is now New Orleans gets to experience nail biting, high intense, win or else basketball.

Welcome to game 5.

I'm not worried about Chris Paul..he'll be fine.

David West is another matter.

The Spurs Fabricio Oberto is in David's head and as Charles Barkley said in TNT's post game. "David needs to knock him hard early then forget about it and just play."

The Chuckster has this series pegged perfectly.

He said the key is Peja. And he's right.

Peja needs to get 20 on Tuesday or the Hornets season may end in a four game train wreck.
But no need to be negative...let's all embrace the hugeness of Tuesday night...

'Frenchie' needs to feel 'The Pain'

It's simple really...the Hornets need to contain Mr. Desperate Houswife. I'm not saying hurt the man, but rough him up a bit.

What do analysts call it? A professional foul? Hey that'll do.

The Hornets get another chance to put the hammer lock on the Spurs, but getting a win in this game four will be a lot harder than against Mavericks.

In game three against the Mavs, CP3 and David West stunk and we knew that wouldn't happen again.

San Antonio is different. First, they hold the title so they won't go quietly and second, Tim Duncan hasn't been dominate yet...that's a problem.

My gut says Spurs play great tonight and coast to a win..setting up a Super-Sized game 5 in New Orleans...and the Hornets will officially feel playoff heat for the first time.

Saints rookie mini-camp has been quiet, uneventful...GOOD!

Top picks doing well. Nobody's passed out from the heat and humidity. Defensive players are flying to the ball. Nobody's been in jail or seen out late partying or had to be cut after 15 minutes because he couldn't handle a professional workout...

Yep, this is EXACTLY the kinda boring, "he's looking like he could be a solid contributor for our team," said the coach, stories that I want to read as a fan around this time Read more.

And because the article in the Picayune mentioned Jeremy Shockey, allow me to reiterate something to Coach Sean Payton: DO NOT TRADE FOR THE GUY! I'm not interested in a potential malcontent coming onto the squad. He's not really worth it...

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Chris Paul is Your Most Valuable 'Person'

CP3 is gonna write the name 'Brian' on his shoes for Monday night's game against the Spurs to honor an eight-year-old fan whose dying--and unfulfilled--wish was to watch a Hornets game. Read more.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Kick them when they are down

When is the best time to kick a man? When he's flat on his back, of course. It's so much easier.

The Hornets will attempt to show America that the inevitable is upon us: Kobe vs CP3 for the right to beat Detroit for the NBA Title.

Everyone will expect the Spurs to come out and give the Hornets a beat down but, we haven't seen Chris Paul do one thing in these playoffs yet: and that's drop the buzzer beating dagger.

My Prediction is Peja hits a corner three after Paul drives the lane.

R.I.P the Spurs and their dull, boring, lifeless basketball dynasty.

Yeah, they were great, but goddamn it was boring and America didn't give a shit.

Oh and for the love of God to all the New Orleans media: Could you ask just one decent question at the post-game interviews? Yes, I'm fucking talking to you, Ed Daniels. If you don't, Popovich might strangle the life out of you.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Jose Lima on the Hornets: "BEE-lieve It!"

If you're any one of the other 29 teams in the league, here's the scariest thing you could read today from a blogger (and not just ANY blogger. AOL Sports' Tom Ziller): Chris Paul Has No Ceiling. What's so scary about that? He wrote posted it online at 7 a.m. Monday morning, more than 12 hours BEFORE Chris Paul obliterated the Spurs in Game 2 of the Western Conference semi-finals.

Frankly, there is not enough verbage for me to fully describe what occurred in the New Orleans Arena Monday night. Not only with regard to CP3's performance, but on the team's performance as a whole: Peja Stojakovic made it rain from behind the arc, hitting 5-of-7 for most of his 25 points (he also had six rebounds) ... and even though he scored a mere 10 points in the game (six of which came on free throws), David 'the 17 Foot Assassin' West combined with Tyson 'God of War' Chandler for 21 total rebounds, just three less than the five San Antonio starters COMBINED.

And how 'bout the man of the hour? 'Mega Man' himself, CP3. I wrote on Sunday that the Hornets would need more production from the point guard position. I expected the wunderkind to have himself a nice game, but damn! 30 points and 12 assists.

The Hornets are seemingly on a whole other plain of thought here, because when the team needs somebody to step up, it's happened for them in these playoffs. When Chris Paul stopped being the man in the Dallas series, D-West made it his objective run all up in Dirk's pillbox and torch the German like it was from the first 25 minutes of "Saving Private Ryan." Chris Paul showed up in Game 5 to help close the show along with Peja.

In Game 1 against the Spurs, Tyson Chandler and David West made damn sure Tim Duncan had little to no effect on the game. When D-West slipped in performance, Peja stepped up and started draining three pointer and started to take a run at Martin Gramatica for the title of 'Best/Most Amusing Foreign-Born Athlete in the City of New Orleans.'

As thrilled as I am, though, I must temper my nipple popping excitement over the Hornets because these are STILL the defending NBA Champions and I have a sneaky suspicion that the refs will be far more 'pro-Spurs' in Games 3 and 4. I don't want to start thinking of any 'anti-Kobe' invective until AFTER the Hornets win that fourth game against Duncan and company, at which point I'll put the 'anti-Duncan' invective in the closet.

Monday, May 5, 2008

Forecast: Hornets can expect to see the Spurs' absolute best tonight contributing writer Ralph Malbrough posted his thoughts on tonight's Game 2 Western Conference semi-final match-up between the Hornets and Spurs:

In the NBA, what defines a champion? They all have great players and a great coach, but the dynasties have something else.

The ability to bounce back after awful playoff games, for instance. Michael Jordan’s Bulls did it repeatedly to the New York Knicks in the 90s. Tonight, we’ll learn if the aging champion still has a strong enough right hand to knock the young Hornets to the floor. I cannot wait to find out the answer.

After San Antonio’s Tim Duncan was awful in game one on Saturday, expect the exact opposite tonight. Sure, the Hornets defense had a lot to do with Duncan’s five point dud of a game, but let’s not get carried away. Duncan is going to the Hall of Fame and Byron Scott didn’t conjure up a secret the rest of the NBA hasn’t thought of in the decade the Spurs have dominated.

So the Spurs will come out angry and looking to set the world back in proper order. That means San Antonio on the throne and the Hornets left to doubt themselves.

Just because the Spurs went to Phoenix and laid the smack down to the Suns in game three of that series doesn’t mean it will happen against the Hornets.

No Champion gets to hold the title indefinitely. Nothing in sports lasts forever.

While the Spurs still have the will, they may no longer possess the way.

Kurt Thomas, Bruce Bowen and Robert Horry are so old Matlock makes jokes about their age.

Tim Duncan and Manu Ginobili are both over thirty. Teams with two major stars over thirty don’t win titles, according to ESPN's John Hollinger.

Let’s hope the Spurs' run is over and no one realizes it just yet.

Byron Scott’s plan to combat Tim Duncan is a solid one: as long as Tyson Chandler can stay out of foul trouble. And I’m not sure even the genius that is Gregg Popovich can conjure up a way to stop David West.

I had been thinking the Spurs would win in seven games but maybe I’m just falling into ‘media group think.’

Most of the media thinks the Spurs will win in a really good series in either six or seven games. The reason: they’re the Spurs.

It’s as good a reason as any because they do have four championships, but maybe the Hornets are the right team to take down the champs.

Why? No playoff baggage.

The Suns had been beaten by the Spurs twice before in the playoffs and really never believed they could beat them. The Hornets have no such doubts and while this is their first playoff trip and they lack experience, they also have no failures. A clean slate and no pressure.

Oh and Chris Paul is becoming a superstar now. Not during the Olympics or the 2009 season, but right now. It’s almost comical to listen to the talking heads talk about Paul.

They all admit he’s great and will be a superstar and then they add, “but I think the Spurs experience will win out.”

Do they refuse to believe their eyes? More likely they just stick to what they know and that is the Spurs winning. 0-2 is a gigantic hole to climb out of. The Spurs know it.

So tonight the champ will come out swinging and the Hornets have yet another chance to silence the doubters.

Ralph Malbrough is a Hornets fan living in Houston. He can be reached at

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Say it with me now: "Wah!"

I can't add anything else to what was a phenomenal game for the Hornets last night. Chris Paul was not at his best. CP3 scored nine of his 17 points in the fourth quarter and Jannero Pargo had a sub-Pargo night as well (21 minutes, two points). They made their presence known with assists and a couple good steals, but overall, the team will need more of the point guard position in order to close out the Spurs.

I'd like to thank Timmy Duncan for going 1-of-9 and scoring only five points in the game. Really; top notch, dude.

Friday, May 2, 2008

Ryan Perrilloux, we hardly knew ye...Actually, we FINALLY have had enough of ye...

Nothing like a six sentence statement from head football coach (and absolute blabber-mouth) Les Miles on the dismissal of QB Ryan Perrilloux.

All the off-field shenanigans finally caught up with the young kid, who had a promising future ahead of him as the starting QB of a defending national championship squad. Instead, he chose to piss it all away with whatever incident broke the camel's back, or in this case, the patience of the head coach.

With Perrilloux seemingly destined for transfer-glory, LSU's 2008 roster now has five quarterbacks on it. Five?!? Has Les Miles stolen a play out of Jon Gruden's book? Those five QBs are: Jordan Jefferson (Freshman), T.C. McCartney (Freshman), Rodney Scioneaux (Sophomore), Jarrett Lee (Freshman) and Andrew Hatch (Junior). Not a hell of a whole lot on the experienced side, that's for sure...But I'm damn proud that Miles took a stand and made the point--for all to see--that this is his team and he will not be afraid to run somebody off for defying team policy.

Of course, I wonder how long the radio blowhards and the rest of the "intelligencia" in Baton Rouge decide to crush Les Miles for the decision after LSU racks up three or more losses in 2008-09?

I think Les Miles and company deserve a mulligan heading into this season; you lose your defensive coordinator AND your starting quarterback, I think the public needs to be ready to cut some slack for the man. Of course, it's college football, so the fans will likely be hanging Les Miles in effigy by week four...