Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Puppy gets a bone from 'The Big Dog'

Let's see...it took me and Ralph a little more than two months to be linked on one of the most well known sports blogs in the country: The Big Lead.

Sure enough, the Ralpha-Dog delivered the goods with his 'Hornets have their Glenn Close moment' column. He wins...We win. Spread the word! Malbrough-Held '08!

Oh, and...has anybody checked out that Phil Hughes' blog yet?

Tecmo Bowl predicts the big game...

Hat tip to The Big Lead for this one...

Somebody at ArmchairGM has a Tecmo Bowl simulation for the Pats v. Giants this Sunday and if the game is anywhere near as exciting as this sim, I'll be one happy fan. Maybe it's the NFL music, I dunno... Watch the videos.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

You better recognize the Hornets or the family rabbit dies!

Well, the Forecast over at WWLTV.com apparently took time away from the Senior Bowl practices, NFL Free Agency, buying everything on earth that says LSU National Champions, and working on his 12th mock draft to look up and see the Hornets are actually pretty good. We won't bag on him too much cause we really like the Fatal Attraction reference.

Forecast: Hornets will not be ignored

By Ralph Malbrough

Let’s call the Hornet’s 102-78 thrashing of San Antonio their Glenn Close moment.

You remember the movie ‘Fatal Attraction’ from the 1980’s where Close plays Michael Douglas’ insane mistress and declares, “I won’t be ignored, Dan!”

Well the Hornets just did the exact same to the Crescent City, the only thing that was missing during Saturday’s beat down of the Spurs was the family rabbit in a pot.

It’s ok, if you haven’t really been paying attention to the local professional basketball team.
I’ll be honest, until last Monday I didn’t realize they were leading the Western Conference but I discovered this while searching New Orleans websites for Saints Senior Bowl info.

I read something about Byron Scott possibly coaching in the All Star game and then it hit me, “If Scott might coach the West then that means the Hornets have the best record in the conference. Wait, that can’t be right let me go to ESPN.com and check…holy #$%! The Hornets lead the Western Conference!”

Upon discovering this fact I immediately purchased the NBA League Pass half season package so I can watch the Hornets games because they aren’t scheduled to be on national TV one time in the second half of the year.

Now the diehard Hornet fans (all 10 of you) may mock my late arrival to the party but I’m just like all the other average New Orleans sports fans: It’s Saints and LSU football until they aren’t playing games anymore.

It wasn’t always like this of course, regular readers of this fine column will remember the Hornets intensive days from January through the June NBA Draft.

The problem was the Hornets have been gone for two years. Out of site out of mind and their two year stay in Oklahoma City I think has caused huge damage to their chances of staying in New Orleans long term.

Think about it: they were in New Orleans for three years and then gone for two.

For two years the only Hornets coverage was highlights on the news and the paper had a beat writer following them.

Sure the games were on TV but with everything going on post Katrina then throw in the Saints 2006 magical run, LSU football at an all time best, add LSU’s Final Four and the Hornets could not have been more irrelevant.

The Hornets seem to be a long shot to be in New Orleans post 2009.

For pre-Katrina New Orleans to get the Hornets remember how the business community had to rally to sell enough tickets and suites?

The Greater New Orleans Sports Foundation moved mountains to get the Hornets here, don’t forget that.

So in a smaller New Orleans it seems getting the Hornets to average 14,700 might be very difficult.

And it may prove to be so--- except for one thing --- the Hornets might be in the NBA Finals in the next two years which means they might be playing into June or even into late May if they make the Western Conference Finals.

And since the NBA only takes like two weeks off and then the next season starts that means the Hornets could have the momentum of a deep playoff run to get to the magic attendance figures in 2009.

I’m not here to tell you it’s your civic duty to support the team or that the business community needs to step up.

No, I’ll let other columnists carry that water.

You do what you want and maybe New Orleans just doesn’t care about pro basketball.

I just know Saturday night my cell phone was ringing off the hook with calls and text messages from friends getting all fired up over the Hornets.

Yeah it’s true they just crushed the defending champs on the road on the second night of back-to-back games, Chris Paul and David West do look like the second coming of Stockton and Malone, Peja Stojakovic is the three point threat they need when he’s healthy, and Tyson Chandler is a solid presence in the middle.

The Hornets are 31-12, have all their core players locked in for the next three to five years and whether you like it or not they won’t be ignored anymore.

Now all the team has to do is have a deep playoff run so we can all learn to enjoy pro basketball.

No pressure guys.

Ralph Malbrough is a Saints and Hornets fan living in Houston. He can be reached at ralphmalbrough@hotmail.com

Shatner has a good deal for 53 football players...

(Hat tip to SaintsReport.com for linking me to this story.)

"London Calling" for the Saints and Chargers next season. Read more. Well, not so much London, really...they don't exactly care too much for American Football from what I understand. It's more like Roger Goodell is calling, but I can't make a Clash reference out of that. And if Sean Payton wants to get his guys prepped for the game he should do two things:

1. Soak the practice fields for five days prior to the first practice for this game. That might get the team ready for the utterly shitty conditions in jolly ole England.


2. Play "This is England" over a public address system at the practice field.

Hornets skullf**k NBA Champions on the road

Here's all you really need to know: Hornets 102, Spurs 78. The DEFENDING NBA CHAMPIONS. Those guys. The same team that crushed LeBron James and the Cavs in four straight last season in the Finals. They WERE 20-4 at home heading into the game.

Hornets outscored the SAS 60-35 in the second half, en route to their eighth straight win. Read more.

Pounding the Rock, a Spurs blog, decided to go with a simpler, more succinct message: Greg Popovich was outcoached by Byron Scott. Popovich allowed Chris Paul to run pick and rolls all day and dish to whoever he wanted, whenever he wantd. Read more.

Now, this win is far more enjoyable other than the reasons I've just laid out. I REALLY dislike the Spurs. Wait, scratch that...I LOATHE the San Antonio Spurs. And here's why:

I once dated a woman/drug head/ex-stripper/skank who loved the Spurs and--more importantly--Timmy Duncan. She wouldn't shut up about Duncan whenever we got on a basketball discussion. I maintained general indifference to the Spurs and their not-so-loud leader until the day came for me to break with the aforementioned "lady." Since then...the Spurs and Mr. Duncan have been on my shit list. You can call it petty and sad all you want, but the fact of the matter is I'll be 90-years-old in a senior citizens home and fist-pumping with my pudding if I see the Spurs lose.

And not only did they lose...not only did they lose to the Hornets...not only did they lose to the Hornets at home...but they got SKULLFUCKED by the Hornets at home. Ahhhh...

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Hornets atop the Western Conference!!!

Holy fuck, holy fuck, holy fuck....what do I do? Ah, what would Andrew W.K. recommend in this situation?

Yes, partying hard seems the reasonable thing to do under the present circumstances...FUCK YEAH!!!

Did the Hornets really just roll off their sixth straight win, against the Trail Blazers no less? Apparently so, cause ESPN's Jalen Rose is equally perplexed.
Ron Hitley at has the post-game breakdown of things. I would like to add that ANY GAME featuring Ryan Bowen AND Peja Stoi-Ican'tspellhislastname-okovich DUNKING the ball is certainly an enjoyable game. That's like seeing old school Ric Flair go through the motions with his reverse knife edge chops in the corner.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

ESPN..go get fucked

ESPN disciplined Dana Jacobson for being inappropriate at the Mike and Mike roast. Dick fucks...it's roast that's what you do. You rip everyone in the room, get drunk, and make everyone uncomfortable..especially that tub of crap Charlie Weis... And how did this footage not get on youtube? She reportedly said ," Fuck Jesus." Why is that offensive? I'm Catholic and every Wednesday when I drink with the J-man I tell him to drop dead and go get fucked. Then he does and rises from the dead...smart ass fuck.

Monday, January 21, 2008

Peter King...in need of a hug

Yeah, so Peter "I'm not Larry" King didn't really mention Brett Favre and the Packers losing. Here's one thing I think I think: Peter King better come strong on "Inside the NFL" this week and say Brett Favre's ill-advised OT throw cost the Packers a shot at the Super Bowl. Relax, Pete, you won't have to castrate yourself for saying it. Read more.

Good thing Reggie's not letting fame get to him...

Reggie, what the fuck, man? You're a young, good looking man worth millions of dollars! What in the name of Hugh Hefner are you doing staying attached to one woman at this stage in your life! And why THIS one of all people?! And what the fuck are you going to the Sundance Film Festival for? Look, I know you like to run all the way out to the edge to try and find a seem, but going to Utah might be a little too East-West even for you!!

Oh, and here's the best comment on The Big Lead for that last picture on the link: "He just has that look because Kim’s been yelling at him for hesitating before hitting her hole."

(Photo credit: Bossip.com)

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Billy "Baroo" Simmons has lost it

(Note: Man, I thought three post days were a rarity, but FOUR POST DAYS? Shit, this is like Wilt hitting 100 or something...)

I used to be a big fan of Mr. Simmons. Big fan. Like many other bloggers in the country, I'm sure. Somewhere along the way, Bill kinda turned on me. So...now I kinda got this whole Wes Mantooth/Ron Burgundy thing going on, where I absolutely loathe him with every fiber of my being, and yet I respect the hell out of the fact that he took his "Dane Cook" act to the big time and got paid tons of money for it. Good for him. Seriously. Any blogger that says they wouldn't want to get paid tons of money for writing about sports and pop culture is lying.


Simmons has been on a sharp decline for...fuck, I don't know how long...but this latest column comparing the '86 Celtics and '07 Patriots is proof positive that Billy Boy has gone off the reservation. And leave it to Kissing Suzy Kolber to throw a lasso around that loose steer.

H-O-R-S-E coming to NBA All Star Weekend...kinda

First up, Hat Tip to AOL Sports for this one...but the NBA plans on adding this "everyman" competition to the festivities. Somewhere, Bill Simmons is cackling with delight.

And yes, I just got three posts in one day...ALL on totally different news topics. Wow. I deserve a treat. Nay, WE ALL deserve a treat...

This would be Bianca Beauchamp. She's a "latex fetish" model. Good for her, great for us.


#4's got his "Don't Make Me Come Down There!" look on his face after hearing what some Packers fan jabronie did to his son this weekend: taped him to a chair for not wearing a Packers jersey. Read more. My boss told me about this story today at work, and I didn't believe him; not that I think Packers fans are above being total douchebags (they clearly are) but I just thought...fuck, I don't know WHAT I thought, except that some fathers ought to be above being pricks to their SEVEN-YEAR-OLD kids.

"Momma always said you'd be the...chosen one"

I promise that's the one and only "Sopranos" joke I'll make about this hire. Bill Parcells gets one of his guys from Dallas to be head coach, and the Dolphins franchise gets a serious shot in the arm. Hopefully, Joey Porter will likely have to file change of address forms...oh well. Read more.

And how bad are things going for the Cowboys this week? Eli Manning grows a pair in Big D for the playoff game, Terrell Owens loses his emotions during the postgame presser, Patrick Crayton apparently went to the Devery Henderson School for Overrated Receivers and some horrible drops during the game, Wade Phillips was not buying reality...

And now at least one Cowboys asst. coach has signed on elsewhere, and the offensive coordinator may do the same very shortly. I smell AT LEAST a three game drop next season for the Cowboys. Maybe four. And they won't win the division, either.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Jessica Simpson:Ruiner of America's Team

Sure, it would be fun to pile on Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson

And who wouldn't want to pile on Jessica Simpson. I would do it even if her Dad was in the room. Joe don't just sit there and stare while I hump your daughter! Grab my balls or something.

Seriously though this meltdown was easy to spot. The Cowgirls hadn't played well since they beat Green Bay and we had to know Wade Phillips would eventually be out coached.

Congrats to Tom Coughlin...he might be a grumpy old prick but he's going to his third Conference Title game.

Give the Giants credit for doing the one thing on defense they do well...rush the QB. They brought the heat the second half and as a Saints fan I say this with a shit eating grin, " Drew Brees is the best QB in the NFC under thirty."

Romo is way over rated and before we call him elite let's have him win a playoff game or at least take his girlfriend on vacation with out said girlfriend's dad.
TO just broke down and cried in the post game interview and said it's not Jessica's fault...which of course means..it's all her fault.


Norv Turner is coaching in the AFC Title game. Clean out that Y2K survival shelter, get canned goods, bottled water and all the leftover Katrina M.R.E.s you can find.

The End is near.

Norv Turner won at Indy without LT or Phillip Rivers.

I can't believe I'm saying this but Phillip Rivers and the Charger overall douchiness will have me rooting for New England.

Did you catch Rivers post game act with the fans?

Stay Classy San Diego..you miserable fucks.

You are so fucking unbearable I'm rooting for New England.

In fact I hope a rioded up Rodney Harrison re-injures Phil the Douche.


Watching New England have it's way with probably the second best team in football Saturday was like watching a surgeon work over a patient.

If that surgeon cheated to graduate med school and was a huge penis

Still watching Tom Brady do whatever he wanted as strangely fascinating.

I'm not sure I can handle two weeks of Peter King and Tony Kornheiser blowing Brett Favre and Tom Brady at the same time.

It's happening...time to start doing Coke in the morning to numb the day.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Trojan man to the rescue?

So ESPN seems insistent that Pete Carroll is a serious candidate for the Altanta Falcons job. Jay Glazer recognizes how utterly ridiculous such a move would be, and lists the previous coaching failures in recent NFL history.

(One note, Mr. Glazer: USC did NOT win the national championship in 2003, dick head -- LSU did. Deal with it!)

But I digress...listen, Arthur Blank, why in fuck's name would you pursue Pete Carroll? Do you suffer from short term memory loss or something, sir? Was it not just a couple months ago that former college coach Bobby Petrino stiffed you guys to the return to the college ranks?

College coaches are--by and large--NOT prepared to be head coaches in the NFL. End of fucking story.

And to Mr. Carroll, why on earth would you consider going to Atlanta? You'd go from Los Angeles (where your a football god, by the way), to a fading sports town to operate a failing team. And don't forget your 33-31 record over four years as a pro coach. You took a Bill Parcells team and went backwards with them...so what in God's name makes you believe that you can turn around the motley crew of Falcons players...

...(Scratching head)...
...(Realizing that I am, in fact, a Saints fan)...

WHAT THE FUCK AM I SAYING?!? IT'S THE PERFECT JOB FOR YOU, Mr. Caroll!!! Mr. Blank, you'd be an idiot NOT to take Pete Carroll as your head coach. In fact, name him the General Manager, too! Give Pete Carroll as much control as he wants for the franchise! That can't possibly go wrong!

Forecast: Divisional Round playoff picks( Fuck you Favre)

WWLTV.com columnist Ralph Malbrough has brought the fucking crazy with his picks this week. The Giants and Seahawks both win? Is he fucking insane? We do like the Peter King bashing though...

Friday, January 11, 2008

"Oh Reginald...I DISAGREE!!!"

So apparently ESPN has barely covered the Reggie Bush story in which he may have violated strict NCAA rules while at USC. Why's that, you ask? The answer is seriously fucked up. Read more. Somebody get Oliver Stone on line one! And while I'm here, might as well post this great "Family Guy" video:

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

My favorite soccer team shitcans manager after only 8 months

(WARNING! This is a soccer related post!)

The headline above pretty much says it all. "Big Sam" Allardyce parted ways with Newcastle United today after only eight months with the club. Allardyce got the team off to a rousing start for the year, going unbeaten in its first five matches, but then the wheels came off fast...I think Newcastle recorded only one win in its last six games.

Newcastle fans really pushed hard for the man's canning, but what good does that do? Since January of 1997, the team has had eleven managers. To be fair, four of those managers were just one game fill-ins. The fifth guy takes over for a game and that may be it for him, too. Anyway...that's six managers in 11 years with multiple games. Not even a two year average coaching lifespan.

No sports franchise can succeed with that sort of instability. I may not have been happy with the results thus far from Sam Allardyce, but he deserved better than to be driven out with not even a full season's worth of results.

Newcastle fans really need to sit back and be patient with the next guy, otherwise the club will be viewed as a poor job choice...if it hasn't been labelled as such already.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Forecast: It's good to be the king...

Taken from The Forecast's Tuesday morning column about LSU's BCS Championship win over Ohio State:

"One of my favorite movies is Mel Brooks History of the World Part I and the funniest line from the movie is, 'It's good to be the King!'

"That pretty much sums up my feeling as an LSU fan right now.

"After winning their second BCS Title in five years, I could argue that the Tigers are the most dominate college football program this decade." Read more.

Moratorium on the "THE" in Ohio State University

Sit down, guys...Look, I know all you pro players and former students just love saying "THE Ohio State University" during every player introduction in the beginning of sports lineup announcements and so on, but ah...

The rest of the country voted and until you guys win a national championship in this century, we've put a moratorium on the "THE" portion of things. From now on, just say, "I'm from Ohio State University," okay? Cause to be honest, we all kinda thought you guys were douchebags for throwing "THE" around like it's some sort of bold proclamation.

When half of your schedule consists of powerhouses such as Akron, Kent, Minnesota, Northwestern, Purdue, Washington and Youngstown, you don't get to say "THE" anything, okay? Shit, folks in the SEC (and you'll notice I didn't say "THE" SEC, did you?) don't say "THE" in front of their respective colleges. And why? Cause we're not douchebags. I didn't say we weren't jabronies, by the way. Christ knows I've seen waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too many guys with 'Bama Bangs and that vacant Spicoli stare on their faces...but I digress.

ESPN.com's Pat Forde absolutely crushed you guys today by saying that Ohio State should never be asked back to the National Championship Game as long as the opponent is from the SEC. He also made the same joke as my "Guy Who Knows a Guy," suggesting that the Ohio State band spell out O-H-N-O when they have to play an SEC team ever again.

Monday, January 7, 2008

Forecast: Can Miles and Flynn win a Title?

Ralph Malbrough writes regularly for WWLTV.com but sometimes contributes to us. Even though he doesn't curse or insult people we like him anyway.

Welcome to the good old days. We are either in the middle of or at the climax of the golden age of LSU football. Don’t let the old timers tell you any different.

The Tigers are in their second national championship game in five years, have won at least 10 games three straight years, and Les Miles is a crazy person.

And really, that’s what makes this even more fun.

Admit it; you are both horrified and delighted at the thought of what Les might pull tonight.
I know I am.

He might go for it on fourth down early and often, fake a punt or field goal, scream at a sideline reporter or he might have a team so undisciplined that the Buckeyes take advantage of Tiger turnovers and penalties and ruin what should be a great ending for the most talented LSU football team in the school’s history. But most likely the game will come down to an in game decision by Miles that will either be called brilliant, stupid or both.

In a way Les Miles is the perfect coach for LSU. I mean deep down we like our politicians, celebrities, and football coaches to be entertaining don’t we?

Miles might be “a Michigan man” but his craziness makes him almost a perfect fit in the Bayou.
I’m sure rooting for winning teams with great boring coaches like Jim Tressel or Bill Belichick is fantastic because winning is always the thing but being in the car that Les Miles drives is an experience all it’s own.

If Ohio State drove a BMW on the interstate to get to the title game, Les Miles is the wacko neighbor with the raised up pickup truck with the winch going off road to get where he’s going.
You make fun of that neighbor until he’s helping you get your car out of a ditch.

From the fourth downs against Florida, to the touchdown against Auburn, and even the comeback against Alabama, Les has made the journey to the title game a series of escapes Jesse James would be proud of.

As for how the actual game will go tonight, I think the experts have over thought it.
Talking about something for a month will have that affect.

I’ll try and break it down by what I know.

LSU will definitely be the most talented team Ohio State has played this year.

Ohio State might be the most talented team LSU will play.

The Tigers could jump out early and seize control.

Advantage LSU.

Teams that got healthy going into their bowl have done very well. (See Michigan over Florida)

Advantage LSU.

LSU’s signature win against Virginia Tech isn’t as good as it looks.

The Hokies in truth played in the weak ACC and had no consistent quarterback play and the Tigers defense was showing weakness against the run before all the injuries hit.

Advantage Ohio State

Ohio State will likely try to spread LSU defensively and attack on the ground with Beanie Wells.
If LSU stuffs the run and can pressure Buckeye quarterback Todd Boeckman I think they win.

For all of Ohio State’s defensive dominance Illinois moved the ball on them and I’m sure LSU is at least as good as the Illini.

So it all boils down to what every LSU fan asked in September, “Is Matt Flynn good enough to win a National Championship?”

I know you are expecting a prediction but I really have absolutely no idea because I think Tressel is a much better game day coach than Miles and that will even out all of LSU’s advantages.

Just enjoy the final chapter of the wildest football season I’ve ever watched. The Tigers somehow someway are where we all hoped they’d be.

Ok fine, you want a score?

LSU 24-17

Ralph Malbrough is an LSU and Saints fan living in Houston. He can be reached at ralphmalbrough@hotmail.com

Saturday, January 5, 2008

Beer playoffs?! Why the f*ck didn't I think of that?!?!

Damn you, Deuce of Davenport! Damn you to hell for your filthy brilliance! Read more.

And a nice, filthy hat tip to the Big Lead. Damn you guys to hell as well.

Can't go back to OKC, Georgie Boy...

This report comes courtesy of AOL Sports...if anybody is gonna move to Oklahoma City, it's gonna be the (soon to be artists formerly known as) Seattle SuperSonics...NOT the Hornets. Read more. And here's the original report from the Seattle Times.

Oh well, at least Seattle fans can focus their fandom on the incoming MLS franchise. Catch the MLS Fever!! (shakes fist at your face) Catch it...

Who wants to work for this guy?

According to my "Guy Who Knows a Guy," Tony Sparano (Dallas offensive line coach), Mike Tice (Jacksonville Asst. Head Coach) and Maurice Carthon (Arizona running backs coach) are the three front runners for the Miami Dolphins head coaching gig, in that order. The Bleacher Report seems to think Carthon and Sparano are legit contenders.

I'll have more later on the Ravens and Falcons vacancies as soon as Guy Who Knows a Guy gets back in touch.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Fear the Hat Tressel

I'm really getting fed up with everyone saying I'm crazy.

Miles shotguns a beer

Listen sure I like to take risks and all those national sports writers think my winning touchdown pass against Auburn was risky because there was only one second left on the game clock after the play.

Do you know how long a second is?

Really long, in fact you might not be aware of what you can do in a second so here is a list

Sniff glue

Insult hot smart ass side line reporterette...yeah I'm talking to you Tracy Wolfson...go get bent

Kill Vietnamese hooker with my bare hands

So you shouldn't worry about how 'Crazy Les' handles his business, you hearin me?


Sure my team might have three turnovers and a dozen penalties against the Suckeyes but guys like Jim Tressel....I gave douches like him wedgies in high school and college....just looking at the nerdy bastard makes me want to stuff him in a locker.

Don't worry, Tiger Fans...if need be I'll go for it on fourth and 10 from my own 10 yard line in the 1st quarter.

I'll have the Golden Girls give those Ohio State players body shots on the sideline too

Whatever it takes baby.

I learned from Bo Schembechler, the best ever.

You know how he won all those Rose Bowls and Big Ten titles? Hookers, coke, and Johnnie Walker that's how.

I'm not sure how my team will play after the month layoff but I sure know I like drinking in the morning.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

See Assholes, I was brilliant

Hello all you Katrina surviving losers.

I see on all your nerd like message boards you are whining about Gary Gibbs and how crappy his defense is.

HAHA. See over here in St. Louis I'm building a heckofa defensive unit.

My Rams ranked way ahead of your beloved Saints in every Category.

And if you take away all of the long touchdowns we allowed, we'd have been the best defense in history.

Oh, yeah and we kicked the crap out of Drew Bress, didn't we Rick?

(Rick Venturi removes his head from Haslett's ass and nods in agreement)

I won you idiots a playoff game and gave you nearly a decade of incredible mediocrity and you don't appreciate the Haz-man

Nearly every linebacker I drafted was going to be spectacular, except for the fact they couldn't tackle, lineup correctly or in Courtney Brown's case drink less than two six packs of Coors a day.

Plus I hear Cie Grant is tearing shit up in some semi pro league in Ohio....that mother fucker could fucking hit like a train at Ohio State. All he needed was a brain and to not have the knees of an 80 year old woman.

Anyway, I'm off topic you losers.

My point was to say hello and did you hear I'm going to get interviewed for the Ravens job?

I'm the mother fucking Haz-man and I'm out

Mike Freeman, you're on notice, sir!

From the idiot who gave us this gem about the most overrated players of all time and had the audacity to put Bo Jackson, Reggie Bush and David Beckham on the list (and not Ryan Leaf, by the way)...here comes Mike Freeman of CBS Sportsline with a classic "I've got nothing to write about, so I'll just go through the motions and churn out some non-sense" column. I give to you Freeman's casting call if the Patriots' perfect season were made into a movie.