Sunday, April 26, 2009

"Oh, you didn't know...?" Part 2

Here are the Saints' last two picks in the draft, complete with five factoids about each player that might surprise you:

Stanley Arnoux, ILB, Wake Forest

-Only watches "The Jimmy Fallon Show" in the hopes of seeing The Roots 'Slow Jam the News'.
-Uses the metric system. Religiously. (In the huddle: "Okay guys, it's third and a little over 82 centimeters! We can stop these guys!!" Players stare blankly. "Okay, fine. It's third and less than a yard. Assholes.")
-Believes George Washington not only invented cocaine, but was "six foot twenty, fucking killing for fun."
-Was once part of a bar brawl off campus. He didn't throw a single punch, but killed a guy with a merely a steely-eyed gaze.
-Wishes Chip Vaughn would take him to shop at Men's Warehouse.

And the final guy the Saints have selected in the 2009 NFL Draft...(handed note)...uh, you're fucking kidding me, right? WHAT?!? A fucking punter?!? In the FIFTH ROUND?!? Did these fuckos in the front office learn nothing from last year??? Fuck! (Regains composure.) Oh well. Okay. I'm cool. Let's do this.

Thomas Morstead, P, Southern Methodist University

-Used to shop at Hot Topic while in junior high school.
-Lauds the career of one Billy Zabka.
-Has 'Stuff White People Like' as his personal home page.
-His first Facebook status update read, "Working too hard can give you a heart attack-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack!"
-Despite attending SMU, is, in fact, a Unitarian.

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