So on Twitter I predicted the Saints would go 10-6 and make the playoffs. That has me wondering: what did I predict last year for the Saints?
10-6; make the playoffs.
God, I'm such a gutless turd sometimes.
Anyway...here's my game-by-game prediction for the Saints' 2013 season. I'm sure NOTHING will be wrong this time out.
Week 1: Atlanta Falcons - W
Week 2: @Tampa Bay Buccaneers - W
Week 3: Arizona Cardinals - W
Week 4: Miami Dolphins - W (Party in the MIA? Party in the MIA.)
Week 5: @Chicago Bears - L (Saints STILL haven't figured out Chicago on the road)
Week 6: @New England Patriots - L (I'll smash my balls in a cabinet drawer after watching ESPN fawn over Tom Brady after he breaks The Brees Streak.)
Week 7: BYE WEEK!
Week 8: Buffalo Bills - W
Week 9: @New York Jets - W (Rex Ryan will probably be fired before this game. I could TOTALLY see him trolling NY fans and the media by appearing on the opposite sidelines with his brother or some shit. I would write a scenario JUST LIKE THIS, but Kissing Suzy Kolber would have my ass.)
Week 10: Dallas Cowboys - W
Week 11: San Francisco 49ers - L (The less I say about the better.)
Week 12: @Atlanta Falcons - L (ALL of the middle fingers.)
Week 13: @Seattle Seahawks - L (Can't wait to watch ESPN fawn over "great despite being small" Russell Wilson's performance.)
Week 14: Carolina Panthers - W
Week 15: @St. Louis Rams - W (F*ck the mustache.)
Week 16: @Carolina Panthers - L
Week 17: Tampa Bay Buccaneers - W (Saints clinch playoff spot with the win here at home.)
OTHER MEANINGLESS SAINTS PREDICTIONS:
1. Drew Brees throws for over 4,500 yards and 30 TDs.
2. Drew Brees doesn't even place in the MVP voting at season's end.
3. I go nuclear over the entire MVP voting process.
4. Jimmy Graham catches 80+ passes and has fewer than 9 drops.
5. Meachem has 3 good games all season, infuriating an entire nation of fantasy football players.
6. Kenny Stills finds a matching purse and pumps.
