You got not power rankings last week. Rather than give you a litany of reasons why, let's just forge ahead with the understanding that I was extraordinarily burdened with shit.
32. St. Louis Rams (1-12): This franchise has two options come draft time. Either get that DT from Nebraska or trade down for more picks, cause this team needs a fuck ton of help defensively. Of course, the guy who drafted Ryan Leaf over Peyton Manning is running the franchise, so I guess that means it's Jimmy Clausen, right?
31. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-12)
30. Detroit Lions (2-11)
29. Kansas City Chiefs (3-10)
28. Cleveland Browns (2-10): Fun times in Cleveland again!!
27. Washington Redskins (4-9)
26. Buffalo Bills (5-8)
25. Oakland Raiders (4-9): I'm hoping this is the highest I will rank the Raiders this year.
24. Chicago Bears (5-8): Yeah, I guess the Bears would beat all these teams below them...(shrugs shoulders)
23. Carolina Panthers (5-8)
22. Seattle Seahawks (5-8)
21. Pittsburgh Steelers (6-7): Fuck you guys. No, seriously. Fuck all y'all. If this were any other team that lost five in a row, real power ranking folks would put that team in the 20s without question. Shit, I wish I had enough confidence to think these other guys below in the rankings could beat them.
20. Jacksonville Jaguars (7-6)
19. Atlanta Falcons (6-7)
18. San Francisco 49ers (6-7)
17. Houston Texans (6-7): Andre Johnson = Man.
16. New York Jets (7-6)
15. Miami Dolphins (7-6)
14. Tennessee Titans (6-7)
13. New York Giants (7-6)
12. Dallas Cowboys (8-5): America's Team vs. God's Team this Saturday night. Winner gets the rights to Shreveport.
11. Baltimore Ravens (7-6)
10. Arizona Cardinals (8-5): Two words for Gregg Williams...BLUE PRINT. The 49ers just showed you how to skull fuck the Cardinals on national television. Hope you DVR'd this one and not that lame singing show on NBC, Gregg.
9. Denver Broncos (8-5)
8. Cincinnati Bengals (9-4): The Bengals just don't look threatening right now.
7. New England Patriots (8-5)
6. Green Bay Packers (9-4): Wish I could put these guys higher, but everyone above them is playing excellent football.
5. Philadelphia Eagles (9-4): Hey, I'm in awe of DeSean Jackson, sure, but the prospect of Andy Reid in the playoffs...on the road...(Licks lips, salivates.)
4. San Diego Chargers (10-3): The Chargers are flying under the damn radar. I like that. Phillip Rivers deserves to be in the MVP discussion.
3. The Minnesota Vikings (11-2)
2. New Orleans Saints (13-0): I may catch shit for this, but I don't care. The Colts are setting records and doing their thing and the Saints are giving me heart palpitations. My medication is a home game on (semi) national television against the Cowboys.
1. Indianapolis Colts (13-0): Seriously. Neutral field, who you taking? The Saints and that banged up secondary with the D-line that can't get pressure on a fucking insurance salesman? I think not.