Thursday, February 28, 2008

Forecast: Saints Free Agency is like a Mosquito at a Nudist Colony

Leave it to Ralph Malbrough at to come up with a fucked up analogy when discussing what the Saints should do in free agency...We think Tom Benson should give Lance Briggs and Asante Samuel the Moon and Bourbon Street or maybe a nice hot poboy...mmm poboy ....

By Ralph Malbrough

Miami Heat coach Pat Riley was asked this week about rebuilding the Heat from the disaster they are right now. He said, “I feel like a mosquito in a nudist colony. I know what I need to do I just don’t know where to start.”

It’s also the perfect way to some up what Sean Payton and Mickey Loomis face starting Friday at 12am when NFL free agency starts.

Everyone knows what the Saints need to do: fix the defense.

But where should they begin?

Perhaps a shutdown corner like Asante Samuel would be the cure for the Saints ailing secondary?

Then again the Giants just won the Super Bowl and I couldn’t pick their corners out of a police lineup if they were wearing their jerseys.

So maybe the Saints should sign a big time linebacker like the Bears Lance Briggs to give them a big time defensive playmaker in the front seven?

With so many holes to fill on defense maybe the Saints need to spread their money around and not focus on one big ticket player.

Sure a 55 inch HD plasma screen is nice but if your den consists of a bean bag, 3 folding chairs, and four rotting walls maybe the nice TV is a luxury that needs to wait while the floor is fixed and walls are painted.

And that’s the way I view the Saints situation.

Yes, Asante Samuel would look good in a Saints uniform but for 75-100 million and a 25 million dollar bonus? The only position in the NFL that should get that kind of cash is quarterback, period.

Plus, if quarterbacks still have all day to throw, he won’t help much at all.

Oh yeah, Samuel isn’t physical corner and likes to read the quarterback to make plays.

The Saints have gone down this road before (See David, Jason) and we know how that turned out. If you though fans were rough on Jason David imagine if he was making 10 million a year?
The Saints need to focus on making quarterbacks uncomfortable.

Enter Lance Briggs.

Briggs could give the Saints an athletic force at the weakside linebacker spot to team with Scott Fujita.

And he’ll probably only cost 50 million, not 100 which is good because the Saints have more shopping to do.

Briggs would be a semi-big ticket item and the first Pro-Bowl caliber linebacker since Winfred Tubbs had one great year under Mike Ditka then bolted to San Francisco.

The Saints need secondary help so Eugene Wilson of New England would be an excellent fit and won’t break the bank.

Like all Patriot defenders he can play multiple positions and he could be the ball hawking safety the Saints have lacked since Sammy Knight left.

I just spent about 65 million dollars of Tom Benson’s money in the last 3 paragraphs and it sure was fun.

The problem for the Saints is the free agent market lacks the thing they need the most: A middle linebacker.

If you don’t believe they are desperate for a middle linebacker then how do you explain them lusting after a washed up Zach Thomas and concussion ridden Dan Morgan?

Of course NFL free agency gets weaker every year as teams have learned to lock up their good players before their contracts expire.

Not a very exciting spending spree I just conjured up is it?

The Redskins win free agency every year and look what it’s gotten them? Not much except the worst salary cap situation in the NFL.

The Saints would be wise to save their money for Marques Colston and Jahri Evans, because Tom Benson is looking at about 100 million to lock those two players into long term deals.

I know you are thinking, “But Ralph you didn’t fix the Saints other holes at defensive tackle, corner and middle linebacker.”

True, but we still have the draft and from what I’ve read LSU’s Glenn Dorsey is falling like a stone in a swimming pool.

Add him and good young middle linebacker and then all of the sudden the Saints defense has some bite no?

(Of course if Glenn Dorsey came within reach of the Saints on draft day I might have a nervous breakdown. Not to mention Saints fan websites and blogs melting down and causing the Internet to cease to exist.)

Always remember kids: In NFL free agency you can do whatever you want but you can’t do everything you want.

If the Saints are indeed a mosquito in a nudist colony then they need to start by biting someone on the arm.

Got to start somewhere right?

Ralph Malbrough is a Saints fan living in Houston. He can be reached at

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