Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Horn Should Eat Crow, Hollis Thomas Ouchy, and Reggie Wins NFL's High Jump Award

Been kinda lax lately on posts. That happens when you're employer tells you that they're no longer paying overtime. You'd think that would mean extra time for me to write these little nuggets, but I spend more time wondering if I should start selling my blood or semen to the highest bidder. I MIGHT even consider quitting drinking to sell one off my kidneys. Fucking rent...Remind me to move out once my lease is up, okay?

Any who...let's take the three biggest things I noticed in the last week or so of Saints news:

1. Hey Joe, how's that whole 'sticking it to my former team by signing with a rival' campaign working out for you? Oh. The Falcons CUT YOU? The Atlanta Falcons, right? The destined to be 4-12 Falcons? Just wanted to make sure. Guess they didn't need your immense 36-year-old skills, then. And now you're trying to catch on with the Miami Dolphins? Say it ain't so, Joe. And you've expressed interest in joining the Cowboys, Rams, Jaguars and Titans.

Let's see: the Cowboys? Uh, no, they're fine, thanks. The Jaguars could probably use you, but you're not at the top of the depth chart. Hell, in Tennessee, when Vince Young decides to throw, he'll be looking for his new tight end before you. And the Rams? Shit, I would LOVE to see you join the Rams. You and Drew Bennett could have a "who would the fans be least offended by as the second receiver" contest.

2. Hollis Thomas injured. Excuse me...(slams head into desk. repeats.) Crap! So let's see: our defensive line is dinged up and our fifth round draft pick is on IR as well. Great. We're turning into the goddamn Cincinnati Bengals from two years ago. We'll score 31 points, but we'll give up 34 in the process. At least our games will be thrilling, right? Right???

3. So THAT's how he scales Kim Kardashian's ass...Well done, Reginald.

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