Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Today's "Great Moments in Drew Brees History" (Part 9)

Drew Brees was once invited to join the Justice League. Drew politely refused, but behind closed doors told his family he wouldn't join because, and I quote, "they'd just cramp my style."

Instead, Drew suggested the League invite a teammate with a ready-made super hero nickname: The Shockmeister!

Sadly, Jeremy Shockey was kicked out a month later after he:

A) Kept calling Martian Manhunter "Martin Ghey-Hunter."

B) Stiff-armed Hawkman into a two-day coma during a friendly game of touch football.

C) Suggested Black Canary go out on a date with his pal "Tommy," knowing the two were comically mismatched for one another.

D) Wouldn't stop asking Plastic Man if he qualified as a sex toy every time he slept with a woman.

E) Continued telling the same joke to Zatanna about "making his Shock Stick disappear...IN HER!!!"

F) Challenged Green Arrow to an accuracy contest: GA could use his archery skills while The Shockmeister demonstrated his arching urinary skills. Shockey then asked Green Arrow, "Uh, so you're like Batman, only NOT as cool?"

G) Lost Atom while vacuuming.

H) Convinced Green Lantern to put that power ring...uh, elsewhere on his body...

I) Borrowed a dollar from Flash for a soda and DIDN'T give him the change.

J) Pissed in Aquaman's (kelp) bed while in a drunken stupor.

K) Kept asking Blue Beetle, "What's your favorite color?"

L) Waited until Batman went to sleep, then stole the cape and cowl so he could sleep with Catwoman and Taila Al' Ghul.

M) Told Captain Marvel he thought Shaquille O'Neal nailed his personality in the movie "Shazaam!"

N) Talked Superman into investing in contact lenses.

O) Boinked Wonder Woman...while the two were riding in her invisible jet...over the Grand Canyon...while the President and First Family were visiting...with a UN delegation in attendance....on national television. Wonder Woman had to issue a public apology. J-Shock simply went to his Bucket List and crossed off a whole lot of things.


Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHAHA!!! I love it. The Shockmeister rules!

austin rivers said...

Drew Brees has been outstanding this year and aside from Brett Favre is the MVP of the league this year. I think the Saints are one of the best 4 or 5 teams in the NFL, but I think the Pats, Colts, and Vikings are all superior teams. If you let any qb especially Brees sit back in the pocket without pressure hes going to pick the defense apart.