NFL Power Rankings (Week 7)

I obviously don't have a formula for this, but it's some kind off half-assed "strength of schedule" meets "who would win on a neutral field?" discussion.

This would be Abby Clancy. She's a soccer WAG. I should have played soccer. Maybe if I have a son I can convince him to play soccer.



32. St. Louis Rams (0-7)
31. Cleveland Browns (1-6)
30. Washington Redskins (2-5)
29. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (0-7)
28. Tennessee Titans (0-6)
27. Oakland Raiders (2-5)
26. Kansas City Chiefs (1-6)
25. Detroit Lions (1-5)
24. Carolina Panthers (2-4)
23. Seattle Seahawks (2-4)
22. Buffalo Bills (3-4)
21. Miami Dolphins (2-4)



20. Jacksonville Jaguars (3-3)
19. Chicago Bears (3-3)
18. San Diego Chargers (3-3)
17. San Francisco 49ers (3-3)
16. New York Jets (4-3)
15. Baltimore Ravens (3-3)
14. Atlanta Falcons (4-2)
13. Dallas Cowboys (4-2)
12. Houston Texans (4-3)
11. Arizona Cardinals (4-2)



10. Green Bay Packers (4-2)
9. New York Giants (5-2)
8. Philadelphia Eagles (4-2)
7. Minnesota Vikings (6-1)
6. Pittsburgh Steelers (5-2)
5. Cincinnati Bengals (5-2)
4. New England Patriots (5-2)
3. Denver Broncos (6-0)
2. Indianapolis Colts (6-0)
1. New Orleans Saints (6-0)



I could just as easily have put the Colts number one due to their ass whooping of the Rams while the Saints played an absolute piss poor 29:56 of a game. However, I kept the Saints as top dogs due to their strength of schedule.

Saints' opp. winning pct. -- .450
Colts' opp. winning pct. -- .297

The Saints also have a slightly higher point differential than the Colts, 111 to 102.

The Saints are also averaging more yards per game and points per game than the Colts.

Geaux Saints.

NFL Power Rankings (Week 6)

Here are your rankings for this week. Top 5 were quite easy to figure out.

Lucy Pinder is all kinds of WIN. (Ed. note: Why do I even do this to myself...?)



32. Tennessee Titans (0-6)
31. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (0-6)
30. Cleveland Browns (1-5)
29. St. Louis Rams (0-6)
28. Washington Redskins (2-4)
27. Detroit Lions (1-5)
26. Kansas City Chiefs (1-5)
25. Seattle Seahawks (2-4)
24. Oakland Raiders (2-4)
23. Buffalo Bills (2-4)
22. San Diego Chargers (2-3)
21. Carolina Panthers (2-3)



20. New York Jets (3-3)
19. Jacksonville Jaguars (3-3)
18. Chicago Bears (3-2)
17. Dallas Cowboys (3-2)
16. Miami Dolphins (2-3)
15. Arizona Cardinals (3-2)
14. Philadelphia Eagles (3-2)
13. Houston Texans (3-3)
12. San Francisco 49ers (3-2)
11. Baltimore Ravens (3-3)



10. Green Bay Packers (3-2)
9. Pittsburgh Steelers (4-2)
8. Cincinnati Bengals (4-2)
7. New York Giants (5-1)
6. Atlanta Falcons (4-1)
5. New England Patriots (4-2)
4. Denver Broncos (6-0)
3. Minnesota Vikings (6-0)
2. Indianapolis Colts (5-0)
1. New Orleans Saints (5-0)

Try and tell me Drew Brees and the Saints don't belong in the top spot. Try me.

NFL Power Rankings (Week 5)

Your gal this week: Eva Amurri (aka, Susan Sarandon's daughter). She apparently plays a college student who strips at night on "Californication." I watched part of Season One on DVD and it's a hilarious show with plenty of T&A. She reminds me of that red head on "Mad Men."



32. St. Louis Rams (0-5)
31. Kansas City Chiefs (0-5)
30. Oakland Raiders (1-4)
29. Tennessee Titans (0-5)
28. Buffalo Bills (1-4)
27. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (0-5)
26. Cleveland Browns (1-4)
25. Washington Redskins (2-3)
24. Detroit Lions (1-4)
23. Jacksonville Jaguars (2-3)
22. Carolina Panthers (1-3)
21. Houston Texans (2-3)



20. Arizona Cardinals (2-2)
19. San Diego Chargers (2-2)
18. Seattle Seahawks (2-3)
17. Miami Dolphins (2-3)
16. Green Bay Packers (2-2)
15. Dallas Cowboys (3-2)
14. Chicago Bears (3-1)
13. San Francisco (3-2)
12. New York Jets (3-2)
11. Pittsburgh Steelers (3-2)



10. Baltimore Ravens (3-2)
9. New England Patriots (3-2)
8. Philadelphia Eagles (3-1)
7. Denver Broncos (5-0)
6. Cincinnati Bengals (4-1)
5. Atlanta Falcons (3-1)
4. Minnesota Vikings (5-0)
3. New Orleans Saints (4-0)
2. New York Giants (5-0)
1. Indianapolis Colts (5-0)

Note that I did not drop the Saints in the rankings (but I did for the Giants). The Saints have a +78 point differential (144 PF to 66 PA) in just FOUR GAMES. I'm not moving them anywhere until after next week's showdown. The Giants, meanwhile, went 44-7 on the fucking Raiders. And I STILL think you could argue that the Saints are the best team in the league, due to beating better opponents.

Saints' opp. winning pct. -- .421
Giants' opp. winning pct. -- .240
Colts' opp. winning pct. -- .333

And for what it's worth, the other two undefeated teams:

Broncos' opp. winning pct. -- .480
Vikings' opp. winning pct. -- .292

Denver. Go figure...

NFL Power Rankings (Week 4)

Did you fucking SEE what ESPN did to the Saints and Jets this week?!?! Okay, so the Saints stayed the same, the Jets actually MOVED UP a spot, and the fucking Minnesota Favres were placed ahead of the Saints. Unbelievable.

You know what'll help me calm down? Boobies.

(...)

What, no boobies?!?

(...)

(...)

Okay, fine. Know what'll help me calm down? Theme songs from 80s television shows!



32. St. Louis Rams (0-4)
31. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (0-4)
30. Kansas City Chiefs (0-4)
29. Oakland Raiders (1-3)
28. Cleveland Browns (0-4)
27. Detroit Lions (1-3)
26. Tennessee Titans (0-4)
25. Carolina Panthers (0-3)
24. Seattle Seahawks (1-3)
23. Washington Redskins (2-2)
22. Buffalo Bills (1-3)
21. Miami Dolphins (1-3)



20. Arizona Cardinals (1-2)
19. Jacksonville Jaguars (2-2)
18. Houston Texans (2-2)
17. San Diego Chargers (2-2)
16. Dallas Cowboys (2-2)
15. Green Bay Packers (2-2)
14. Chicago Bears (3-1)
13. Pittsburgh Steelers (2-2)
12. Cincinnati Bengals (3-1)
11. Denver Broncos (4-0)



10. San Francisco 49ers (3-1)
9. Philadelphia Eagles (2-1)
8. Atlanta Falcons (2-1)
7. New York Jets (3-1)
6. Baltimore Ravens (3-1)
5. Minnesota Vikings (4-0)
4. New England Patriots (3-1)
3. New Orleans Saints (4-0)
2. Indianapolis Colts (4-0)
1. New York Giants (4-0)

Honestly, you could argue that the Saints deserve the top spot since they've played better opposition. Feel free to flail away at me in the comments section.

NFL Power Rankings (Week 3)

I decided to wait until AFTER week three to do these power rankings. I'm one of (checks joke book) like, fucking, ZERO people who thinks that the NCAA and the NFL writers should wait until three or four weeks into the season before they publish power rankings. This sort of rule would have the most useful, long-term impact on the NCAA.

So here's how I rank this: I try to rank teams in terms of "who could beat the teams below them, but likely could not beat the teams above them."

Oh yeah, this is also an opportunity for me to post pictures of hot chicks again. Hooray, beer!



(above: Kira Eggers)

32. Cleveland Browns (0-3)
31. St. Louis Rams (0-3)
30. Kansas City Chiefs (0-3)
29. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (0-3)
28. Oakland Raiders (1-2)
27. Washington Redskins (1-2)
26. Carolina Panthers (0-3)
25. Detroit Lions (1-2)
24. Miami Dolphins (0-3)
23. Seattle Seahawks (1-2)
22. Jacksonville Jaguars (1-2)
21. Tennessee Titans (0-3)



(above: Pamela Diaz)

20. Buffalo Bills (1-2)
19. Arizona Cardinals (1-2)
18. Chicago Bears (2-1)
17. Houston Texans (1-2)
16. Pittsburgh Steelers (1-2)
15. Denver Broncos (3-0)
14. San Diego Chargers (2-1)
13. Cincinnati Bengals (2-1)
12. San Francisco 49ers (2-1)
11. Dallas Cowboys (2-1)



(above: Kelly Brook)

10. Philadelphia Eagles (2-1)
9. Atlanta Falcons (2-1)
8. Minnesota Vikings (3-0)
7. New England Patriots (2-1)
6. Green Bay Packers (2-1)
5. Baltimore Ravens (3-0)
4. New Orleans Saints (3-0)
3. New York Jets (3-0)
2. Indianapolis Colts (3-0)
1. New York Giants (3-0)