Thursday, January 3, 2008

Fear the Hat Tressel

I'm really getting fed up with everyone saying I'm crazy.

Miles shotguns a beer

Listen sure I like to take risks and all those national sports writers think my winning touchdown pass against Auburn was risky because there was only one second left on the game clock after the play.

Do you know how long a second is?

Really long, in fact you might not be aware of what you can do in a second so here is a list

Sniff glue

Insult hot smart ass side line reporterette...yeah I'm talking to you Tracy Wolfson...go get bent

Kill Vietnamese hooker with my bare hands

So you shouldn't worry about how 'Crazy Les' handles his business, you hearin me?


Sure my team might have three turnovers and a dozen penalties against the Suckeyes but guys like Jim Tressel....I gave douches like him wedgies in high school and college....just looking at the nerdy bastard makes me want to stuff him in a locker.

Don't worry, Tiger Fans...if need be I'll go for it on fourth and 10 from my own 10 yard line in the 1st quarter.

I'll have the Golden Girls give those Ohio State players body shots on the sideline too

Whatever it takes baby.

I learned from Bo Schembechler, the best ever.

You know how he won all those Rose Bowls and Big Ten titles? Hookers, coke, and Johnnie Walker that's how.

I'm not sure how my team will play after the month layoff but I sure know I like drinking in the morning.

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