Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Moratorium on the "THE" in Ohio State University

Sit down, guys...Look, I know all you pro players and former students just love saying "THE Ohio State University" during every player introduction in the beginning of sports lineup announcements and so on, but ah...

The rest of the country voted and until you guys win a national championship in this century, we've put a moratorium on the "THE" portion of things. From now on, just say, "I'm from Ohio State University," okay? Cause to be honest, we all kinda thought you guys were douchebags for throwing "THE" around like it's some sort of bold proclamation.

When half of your schedule consists of powerhouses such as Akron, Kent, Minnesota, Northwestern, Purdue, Washington and Youngstown, you don't get to say "THE" anything, okay? Shit, folks in the SEC (and you'll notice I didn't say "THE" SEC, did you?) don't say "THE" in front of their respective colleges. And why? Cause we're not douchebags. I didn't say we weren't jabronies, by the way. Christ knows I've seen waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too many guys with 'Bama Bangs and that vacant Spicoli stare on their faces...but I digress.

ESPN.com's Pat Forde absolutely crushed you guys today by saying that Ohio State should never be asked back to the National Championship Game as long as the opponent is from the SEC. He also made the same joke as my "Guy Who Knows a Guy," suggesting that the Ohio State band spell out O-H-N-O when they have to play an SEC team ever again.

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