No Depressing Music Here, Please!

Let's see if I have this straight: the New Orleans Saints hold the Oakland Raiders' third-ranked running attack to just 85 yards? And force two turnovers, one of which was an interception by...(checks paper)...hold on...(checks a second paper)...I want to make sure I have this right...Ja-son Da-vid?

(Checks online.) And a team coached by Jim Haslett won? With Rick Venturi as the defensive coordinator? And Haslett actually admitted he made a mistake in not benching Aaron Brooks several years ago and starting Jake Delhomme? Yep, we've officially entered bizarro world.

So, where do I start? Oh yeah: Drew Brees is your Most Valuable Player in the NFL through six weeks. With Tom Brady out and Peyton Manning still playing catch-up, Drew Brees is easily the best quarterback in the league. He's putting up great numbers without his starting wide receiver and tight end, and with a running game that still leaves a lot to be desired.

Brees has completed 71 percent of his passes, good for second in the NFL; has thrown for 1,993 yards (first) and is on pace to throw for over 5,300 yards; has a 105 QB rating, again good for tops in the league; has the most completions over 20 and 40 yards, respectively; he's only been sacked six times (fifth best); and has thrown 12 TDs, second behind Brett Favre.

So you need to try and tell me why Drew Brees is not the league's most valuable player. And by "you," I mean the same jackasses who've been going on and on about how Reggie Bush is a "bust."

Since you idiots clearly can't pull your heads out of your collective asses (see: Hochuli, Ed) long enough to understand what Reginald brings to the table, I submit exhibit a -- fantasy stats. I'm in a Yahoo league and--before today's game--Reggie had the third highest total points of any offensive player, behind Jay Cutler and Drew Brees. The only wrinkle in this league is that receptions count for a point, but that's neither here nor there. Factoring in today's game, Reggie leads the NFL in receptions with 41 catches and has eight total touchdowns.

Is Reggie the best running back in the league? No. I'm not trying to make that argument. Hell, I wouldn't even say Reggie is in the top 8 best running backs in the league. (For the record: LT, Westbrook, Peterson, MJD, Gore, Barber, Lynch, and Jackson. I'll even tack on Ronnie Brown and Michael Turner to make it an even ten.) What I'm saying is the following people need to drink themselves a nice, healthy glass of "Shut the fuck up!"

Mike Freeman, CBS Sportsline: Thought I forgot about this one, didn't you, you shit stirrer, you?

Michael David Smith, AOL Sports: Saints show how not to use Reggie Bush, huh? How 'bout you "kiss my Converse?"

Mike Florio, Pro Football Talk: Reggie versus Adrian was just a hype job, eh, Mike? Tell that to the Vikings' punter, dickbag.

From now on, ANYBODY named Mike or Michael with a negative opinion on Reggie Bush can just go cram it up their ass, okay?

As far as everybody else goes...It's Time to Party! Hit it, Andrew!