Thursday, October 30, 2008

Well that didn't take long, did it?

Psst, Coach Payton? Uh, we didn't have a game this weekend, so you really didn't need to bring in the new kicker and punter just yet. You have to understand how New Orleans sports works: something bad happens, radio call-in guy (a cousin of Message Board Guy, I'm sure) gets all worked up in a rich lather of seething contempt and calls in to vent his rage, only his message--idiotic as it might be--comes out sounding garbled and confused. He needed to time to opine for Morten Andersen or bringing back John Carney. Hell, there might have been some assholes who wanted to see if Olindo Mare deserved another crack at things to redeem himself. But I digress...

So we dumped that seemingly inconsistent rookie whom we drafted and a journeyman punter undrafted rookie who couldn't make it into training camp with the Broncos and another journeyman punter. Look, Coach Payton, I know this sounds I'm second guessing your every move when it comes to the special teams. It's cause I am. I mean, every coach has to have something that fans can dump on him for. Coach Norv Turner couldn't get a team to play defensive ball to save his ass (actually, save his defensive coordinator's ass), Coach Brad Childress was stubborn in sticking with one quarterback who clearly could not get the job done, Andy Reid and Romeo Crennel have God awful clock management skills, first year coach Jim Zorn has demonstrated a lack of understanding on when you're supposed to use time outs, Bill Belichick is a fraud and everything he's done will have a taint on it, and Coach Tony Dungy hates gay people.

So, really, Coach Payton, I can deal with you swinging erratically and missing when it comes to special teams. Now come here and hug it out with me!

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