Thursday, December 25, 2008

Hey, look! It's a Christmas post!

Yes, maybe, just maybe, people will come here on this holiday and will be sooooooo desperate to avoid spending time with the family after exchanging gifts that they'll actually read whatever I post! Sheer genius!!!

Okay, here's three of my favorite holiday movies:

"A Christmas Story"

Remember when "It's A Wonderful Life" was broadcast over a hundred times during the holiday season? Well, now that (sweet, lovable) NBC owns the rights to broadcast the film, we only see it twice. And that feels just about right. If we had to watch the Frank Capra classic more than three times a year, society would likely keel over with laughter. What did George Bailey do with all that money in the end? Did he actually ever become an architect or go to college? Damn it, I want answers! And there's just enough of a cynic in me that seeing this movie more than once during the holidays might make my blood curdle like bad milk.

With "ACS," we get a full 24 hours of the film, and that works to a tee. It's the sort of movie that you can flick on at any time and not be disappointed with where you are in the running time.

My favorite thing "ACS"-related is that my younger brother and I will exchange 10 or 20 text messages with random quotes from the film or make obscure comments while the film airs on Christmas Eve. It's sort of a new holiday tradition with us.

"Edward Scissorhands"

Look, Tim Burton, I love "Edward Scissorhands." I love your take on "Batman." I loved "Pee Wee's Big Adventure." But damn it, you've got to stop making these films with a dark, gothic edge to them! I'm not interested in seeing this "Nightmare Before X-Mas REDUX" animated crap that you're peddling. You've got story telling talent, sir! I saw "Big Fish." You've got a gift for non-"the world is bleak" storytelling, so use it, for fuck's sake!

"Die Hard"

Note to terrorists: Don't fuck with us on Christmas.

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