Tuesday, May 20, 2008

N.O. sports fans: Having the carpet pulled out from under us since 1967

Jesus tap dancing Christ! Hasn't New Orleans been through enough in the last...oh, I don't know, FOREVER?

Hey football fans, wanna know a real surefire way to tell when your off-season is going into the shitter?

Two quick clues: 1) a veteran free agent--albeit an injury prone guy, but whatever--whom you signed in the off-season to bolster your defense decides to RETIRE more than a month AFTER the NFL Draft.

And 2) your starting defensive end, whom you just signed to a $60 million contract the year before, gets indicted for involuntary manslaughter.

That's right, people, Charles Grant has been indicted on a charge of involuntary manslaughter stemming from a February altercation at a nightclub. One day after Dan Morgan retires. One day after Chris Paul and the Hornets are ousted from the NBA post-season courtesy of the Spurs of Mordor. Seriously, doesn't Manu Ginobli look like a fuckin' goblin from "Lord of the Rings?" But I digress...

As the late Buddy D might say, "The City of Louisiana" is in mourning...

You know, Dan Morgan, as a man I've got no problem with you retiring because of injuries and so you could spend more time with your family. That's great. Good for you. Work on the ol' golf swing in your downtime. But as a fan, I must take umbrage with the timing of your decision, or should I say, lack thereof. I fail to understand how something like this doesn't come up with Saints management, either. If Sean Payton and Mickey Loomis thought for even a second that Morgan wasn't up to snuff, they should have drafted a linebacker, instead of picking up three guys from the UDFA scrap pile whom I wouldn't recognize if they walked up to me wearing "Hi, my name is ..." tags on their shirts.

And if Saints management didn't think Dan Morgan would be up to snuff, then they deserve a racking over the coals for not drafting a linebacker.

As for Charles Grant...I don't even know what to say. You just hope that he wasn't really involved in a woman's death in some capacity. I mean, why would the grand jury wait nearly four months to indict you? It'd be one thing if police or prosecutors in Blakely, Georgia, simply overreacted in the days following the incident and threw some charges at Grant...but the fact that this took some time just means that the clouds hovering over the Saints' off-season won't dissipate so easily.

If I'm Chuck's attorney, I'm going with the "Chuck didn't kill nobody because, well, the Saints need a pass rush, God damn it!" defense. Not quite as awesome as the Chewbacca defense, but it's still pretty good.

In other news, Will Smith's potential holdout just became all the more problematic. Hey Saints fans, how does a starting defensive end combo of Josh Cooper and Bobby McCray suit you? I think I just threw up in my mouth...

Can somebody call Tyson Chandler and see if he wants to earn some extra cash?

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