Monday, May 19, 2008

Tim Duncan, prepare to meet Kali...in Hell!


Look, it was either the Indiana Jones reference for my headline or else "Their can be only one" from The Highlander. In the end I opted for timeliness. That, and the fact that ABC/ESPN have sort of co-opted the "only one" thing for their playoff marketing campaign. But I digress...

I'm writing this a little after midnight on Monday, and I've got four things tumbling around my brain like clothes in a dryer. (Author's note: I apologize in for the cringe-worthy simile.):

1. I wish I wasn't still in my first 90 days at work, otherwise I could take tomorrow night off and watch the game.
2. Will Robert Horry have his thumping heart ripped out by some evil priest and tossed into a pit of fire before or during Game 7? Or, failing that, maybe I'd settle for Mike James doing the honors with the heart ripping...
3. I hope Kingdom of the Crystal Skull doesn't suck.
4. Cormac McCarthy really ought to option the rights for his post-apocalyptic novel "The Road."

The night before Game 6, I wrote that the Hornets were playing with house money. They still are. Seven of ESPN's 10 basketball "experts" picked the Spurs to win the series in six games over on ESPN.com. Two more picked the Spurs to win in seven games, with only John "I don't know who Ric Flair is" Hollinger backing the Hornets to win the series.

The Hornets have already defied common hoops logic (or expectation...whichever buzz word gets thrown around on 'Around the Horn') by hanging tough with the defending champs. I'm not here to give you expert analysis. Here's what I know as a fan:

1. Somebody needs to make sure the wind up device is cranked all the way on Peja prior to tip-off.
2. The team cannot get frazzled early by either bad calls or missed shots.
3. David West's back isn't okay (in my mind) until I see him run the length of the court once on transition defense.
4. The bench really needs to step up more.

On that last note...Bonzi Wells is averaging 4 points, 3.2 rebounds, and nearly 14 minutes per game in this series; Jannero Pargo has averaged 5.2 points and just over a pair of assists while playing almost 18 minutes. And Julian Wright is averaging 4.3 points in about 12 minutes. Not good. Those numbers need to improve drastically.

I plan on following the game while I'm at work later tonight...someway, somehow. If we're all lucky, not only will the Hornets win, but Gregg Popovich's face might melt off:



Come on, it's an Indiana Jones-themed post, you thought I wasn't going to put that in there?

1 comment:

Goods said...

Hilarious piece. You've got some talent; need to find a way to get exposure, though.