Thursday, September 18, 2008

Are you ready for a shootout?

And I fear that Jay Cutler will be playing the role of Wyatt Earp, with Brendan Marshall as Virgil Earp, Eddie Royal as Morgan Earp, and Tony Scheffler as Doc Holliday. Featuring the New Orleans Saints as the bullet-riddled cowboys.

Yeah, it looks like it could be that bad.

The Denver Broncos have the best offense in the NFL (463.5 ypg), with the second best passing attack and the tenth best ground game. Conversely, the Saints have the 25th best rushing offense, the seventh ranked pass game, and an overall offense ranked 10th in the league.

Now here's some numbers that give me some hope about a possible upset:

Broncos D: 27th overall (381.5 ypg), 29th passing (266.5 ypg), 21st rushing (115 ypg)
Saints D: 29th overall (403.5 ypg), 28th passing (256 ypg), 26th rushing (147.5 ypg)

So in conclusion, BOTH defenses are the suckiest bunch of sucks who ever sucked. Which takes us full circle back to those offensive numbers.

The Saints beat the Bucs and should have beaten the Redskins...the Broncos pistol-whipped the Raiders as expected and should have lost against the Chargers. You can make the argument that the Saints would've performed just as well against the Raiders as the Broncos did, and I sure hope so, considering that we have to play that hapless group of fucks in a couple weeks. But Jay Cutler put on an offensive passing clinic against the Chargers. The Chargers, people! Weren't the Chargers supposed to be really good this year?

So the Broncos seem to have everything going for them on offense, while the Saints...uh, I'm trying not to think of all the possible things that could go wrong. I believe the Saints could easily put up 24 points without breaking too much of a sweat. The problem is, I think their defense could surrender many more points with the same effort.

PREDICTION: I think Drew Brees throws for close to 350 yards and three touchdowns, Reggie gets two TDs (rushing and receiving), Shockey doesn't fumble the ball, and Meachem actually makes more than one grab. Unfortunately, I think Jay Cutler goes off for nearly 400 yards and four touchdowns, and the Broncos defense intercepts Drew Brees late in the game to ice things for the Mile High Crew.

Final Score: Broncos 44, Saints 29 (Note: Black and Gold boys go for two in the fourth quarter to make things 34-29. The Broncos respond with a field goal, and then intercept Drew near the end for the TD.)

(Added note: Grandmaster Wang of pointed out how retarded it would be for any coach to go for two points if the score was 34-27 instead of kicking the extra point. Point taken. And I've just set a record for using the word "point" in a short paragraph...Anyway, I'm changing my final score to 47-29. Saints would go for two and GET IT to make it 37-29. Then the field goal happens for Denver, followed by the INT for a touchdown.)


Wang said...

Yeah, pretty much.

By the way, just got finished listening to the latest show. Way to delay it like 40 times, assholes. I suppose you're gonna tell me it was because of inclement weather or some weak shit like that.

Good stuff though as always. I find myself agreeing a hell of a lot more than disagreeing.

Gotta go, my damn wiener kids are calling.

Wang said...

Oh, and I've gotta call you on this one:

"Note: Black and Gold boys go for two in the fourth quarter to make things 34-29."

So they FAIL to convert the 2 which would have made it 34-31?

Because surely they don't go for 2 at 34-27. The extra point puts you down by 6. The 2 puts you down by 5.

Unless that's a "Payton is turning into as big a dumbass as Haslett" joke. In which case, it's pretty funny.