A Pox on All Your Houses!

The Big 10. Pussies.
The Big XII. Douchebags.
The Big East. Dickheads.
And of course, the Pac-10...Fuck them, too!

The aforementioned collection of jabroni collegiate football conferences decided to vote AGAINST the will of the people and opted to stick with the current BCS format, ensuring several more years of head scratching, hair pulling, teeth gnashing and the like from fans across the country. Read more.

Only the SEC (best conference in college football!) and the ACC (eh, not-so-much-the-best...) wanted to sack up and go for the proposed four-team playoff system.

You'd think all these guys would be tired old farts bitterly complaining about changing their ways. Well, they kinda were...except for Mike Slive and John Swofford, commissioners of the SEC and ACC, respectively. They're the guys pictured on this post, from left to right. Shit, Silve looks like he's old enough to have played against Red friggin' Grange and even he knows the score: the people want to have a definitively crowned national college football champion. End of story. Sadly, the commissioners of the above pussy conferences tabled those plans until 2014. At the earliest. Shit.

Here's the quote from the AP story emphasizing their biggest gripe with the proposed playoff:

"College football's leaders are concerned a playoff would turn football into a two-semester sport and lessen the importance of a regular season that now has a do-or-die feel to it from week to week."

Newsflash, fellas: you're NOT turning this into March Madness! College football will NOT turn into a two semester sport. The championship game could be played by mid-January AT THE VERY LATEST. Of course, that's if you guys agree to speed things along during the season with the schedules. Isn't the BCS Championship Game in the first week of January already? What's another week, guys?

And you're also worried about losing the do-or-die vibe that makes college football great? Second newsflash, numbnuts: losing one game still means you're likely out of the running! Then again, LSU did make the title game last season with two losses, but that was under your lame ass system. They still would have made it under this new (and better) format, but there would have been a lot less pissing and moaning from the public at large...except for the state of Georgia. That's about it. But fuck Georgia, anyhow...